bi-polar
 

what do ya or would ya do when someone you love very much, shows all the symptoms ?? The least little thing sets the episodes off !! And they deny there is a problem !! The smallest thing can set these off !! After much www research, there is no doubt in my mind there is a problem.........a big problem, and it all points to a bi-polar disorder !! And the baseless lying....when you question these in the slightest.............well.........it is game on then for sure !!


my heart is either broke or is breakin !!!

maybe a mod could move this to family iffin need be !! sorry iffin i posted in the wrong spot !!

please

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Maybe you could call the local mental health clinic and talk to someone. They deal with this all the time and could walk you through how to get your loved one some help.

So sorry for what you are going through. If your loved one won't agree to get help, you need to seek help for yourself. You need a shoulder, and some counsel. It's a hard fact, but the only one you can change is yourself. If someone won't get help, you can't change them, unfortunately.

They need to hit bottom, and realize they need help before they often reach for it. It can be a long, hard, lonely road. Just try to be supportive, but guard yourself against abuse.

Is there someone you can talk to such as a pastor, or , counselor, or even a doctor you trust? You need to get a professional involved, but if nothing else, to help you through this.

So sorry....:-(

Sorry to say but medical dio is NEEDED. Period-- you and I lack the skill to handle it. Meds might help --but that is NOT a one size fits all. Plus you could be wroung.

according to her family, they have been tryin' to get her to do something for many years !!! My Bible is telling me to either live on the corner of the roof or in the wilderness !!!

Sorry if I sound harsh-- I feel for you but You can't fix everything SHE has to get so bad that a court order comes to play or She has to be willing. Till then you can only protect yourself, others and that inclues her. It is hard and it vacumes but it is what it is.

So sorry Greg. We cannot help, but please know that we wish we could.

Yes. If she won't admit she needs help, and she is not currently a danger to herself or others, there really isn't anything you can do. My brother is bipolar. It is very hard to watch. I am very sorry.

Cindyc.

...............I spent 5 years trying to....FIX... the Unfixable ! I just walked away one day and never went back . , fordy

I have family members with this, and it is never easy to deal with. I feel sorry for the folks with it, too. Not easy for them. UNLESS your person will admit they have a problem, get help/meds they need, there isn't anything you can do, except weep. You cannot fix an adult who refuses to get help. A child you can force to take meds, go to counseling, etc. Once the person is an adult and making their own choices, it's a problem. Breaks the hearts of those who love them, and there isn't an easy answer.

"The least little thing sets these episodes off" - that may not be bi-polar.

Whatever the diagnosis, it needs to be done by a professional. If the person doesn't want to go, you have to take care of yourself. Just say your bottom line - then do it! End of discussion.

Sometimes tough love is really, really hard.

I look at this issue from an alternative medical aspect. I would get the person a shuzi, and coerce them into wearing it someway. If you have to, then put one of the little "dog" tag ones into their pocket. Just get it on them.

And the second thing I would do would be to get some trace minerals into the person, especially magnesium. You can have them soak their feet in epsom salt to get Mg into them.

The problem with trying to help someone who is having these issues is that they tend to be resistant just for the meanness of being resistant. And that is true no matter whether you choose western medicine or alternative medicine. But, I have to say that I have seen great improvements in people with alternative treatments.

Shuzi link--
http://www.shuziqi.com/home/

minerals magnesium link--
http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en&ta...w=1024&bih=663

I am sorry that you are seeing changes in your loved one. I do really believe that alternative medicine has a lot more to offer in a much gentler way that western medicine in these situations. Whatever you decide, I hope your loved one gets some help.

My kid brother went to a counselor to learn how to deal with his wife's symptoms.

I am sorry you are going through this!

From somebody else who is bipolar, I know that triggers can be lack of sleep, or traveling, or other things: different bipolar people have different triggers. And, yes, while in a manic phase they can lose their temper with the quiver of an eyelash! Other bipolar people show other symptoms when they are cycling, though.

sometimes when some people are mad about one big issue with a person, they take it out on all the little things instead of confronting the larger issue.

Lmao!

Sorry, alternative medicine won't work on bi-polar people. They have a chemical imbalance in their brain that needs to be fixed and if not fixed they can do some really strange things...sometimes life threatening.

Without a doctor's diagnosis, bipolar is just a guess. It's very common for other mental illnesses to be comorbid with bioplar (i.e. to have one or more diagnosis in addition to just bipolar), so some of her behavior may stem from those other issues as well.

Bipolar is one of the two toughest mental illnesses to treat, because people who are bipolar are notoriously bad at taking their meds.

When they're "up" (in the manic phase) they feel high - nothing can hurt them, life is awesome, and they don't need their meds because nothing is wrong with them.

When they're "down" (in the depression phase) they feel hopeless - life isn't worth living, everything hurts, and they feel there's no point in taking the meds because nothing could possibly make this miserable existence feel better.

The best way to treat bipolar is to catch it EARLY - as young as possible - before they get addicted to the high they feel during a manic episode. Once they get to liking that high, it's very difficult. The meds make everything level, and when you're used to being high half the time level is boring. The lows of the depression phase are a small price to pay for the awesome high they get when they're manic.

I used to work with bipolar teens when I was still working as a counselor, and it was a constant battle - even with their parents standing right there every day making them take their pills. If this girl is an adult, nobody can make her take anything that a doctor could prescribe her. She'd have to WANT to take them, and IME most bipolars don't want to be level :(

There are support groups out there for people who's partners are bipolar. I strongly suggest you find a few and really READ/LISTEN to them before you go any further with this girl. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but I know from experience that living with someone who is an unmedicated bipolar is at best a rough roller coaster ride and at worst a living nightmare :(

Loved the shuzi qi link- what a hoot!

http://tokenskeptic.org/2012/09/04/e...side-skeptics/

http://www.3news.co.nz/John-Key-spor...6/Default.aspx

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is... some people should use this as a mantra. :)

Yeah, we ain't talking about the type of crazy you talk about when you say "man my brother is crazy", this is the real deal! If left untreated it can damage the person and his/her family...suicide is possible. You ain't fixing this with vitamins!

So true! There's no natural fix for this. My sister is Bipolar and without her meds she would have killed herself a long time ago, sad to say. :(

People very often mistake borderline personality disorder for bipolar. I wonder if that's the case with you - as you mentioned lying and being very easily set off.

I would stick around for a person with true bipolar - the type with the very slow mood fluctuations over a period of months. I will never again voluntarily stay in a relationship with a person with borderline personality disorder. My life is like heaven now, in comparison to what it was with BPD people in my life.

One thing you should NOT do is to commit to a relationship till she does get help. If you are close you could be the carrot that her family is not. Plus you would be protecting yourself and her.--If a relationship is not yet where you are at but what you wish infor herfamily that you that a realtionship is the goal but that you will be pulling back to guide --nudge her to get help for herself. It is not going to be easy but with out her being on solid ground hon you will face hardship building you home on the sand --as the tide comes in daily.

I accept that this is NOT what you want to hear--that you are hurting seeing her do stuff with will make life harder and you can't stop it--it is never just a pill or a talk that makes a life time change--it is going to be a multi level careplan. Meds might be involed that will need to be tweaked (sometimes a 6 month period to find the "current" levels) --counclers and sopport for her and others closely involed.

I always knew my Father-In-Law was highstrung and had obsessive/compulsive tendancies.

When we started to observe that he wasn't being so nice to his wife, my wife and I went into his family doctor and paid a visit. We told the doctor the next time he comes in for a checkup, to have him evaluated somewhere because things were getting out of hand. The doctor agreed.

After the next checkup, we casually asked FIL how the checkup went. "Fine." We asked if the doctor ordered any tests. "No." We asked if his meds were changed or something was added. "No."

We quickly changed doctors and he started going to my doctor. My doctor immediately noticed something off, and after the exam asked me "How long has he been manic?" My doctor put him on some "happy" pills - FIL was told it was medicine to increase his appetite. And things calmed down after that.

The problem is, that as long as your loved one "doesn't have a problem", there isn't much you can do. Possibly if you contact her doctor, the doctor may decide to have an evaluation done.

I think that if it was me and it was my spouse that had BP, I would look into what it would take for involuntary commitment. I have done this with my late husband, and let me tell you, it was very easy to do in my state, but the resentment he held against me lasted the rest of his short life. But if I had it to do again, I would. He needed help that only a medical professional could give him and he refused to go any other way. Perhaps you could find out how to do that where you live, and then talk to her family and see what you all, as a group can do. If nothing else works, then you may have to consider just taking care of yourself and being there for her when and if she gets help. Sorry you are having to go through this.
God bless you and yours
Deb

You've gotten a good assortment of advice. Another place to turn is NAMI. National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They have local chapters and you should find the one closest to you. If nothing else, getting someone in the family to attend the Family to Family Course helps to figure out so many things and gives you support AND resources where you are.

I highly recommend it. It saved quality of life for me and my children, in the case of my seriously mentally ill mother in law.

dawn

If you live with a bipolar person there is no mistaking it...they lie like hell and do things just to get rise out of you. The reason for this is that it makes them feel normal when someone else is messed up.

See if there is a NAMI group in your area. http://www.nami.org/ They can help families of people with mental illness.

If you have the nads to hang in there and you care enough about the person enough do it. You are going to have to be a very strong individual.
It is a tremendous effort.
It depends on how commited you are. Your call.

Otherwise get out and wish the best.

It's no different mind screwing and misery then say cancer or other serious illness. Just a different scenario.
I have been both places on each side of the fence and I really don't like either one.

It will destroy you if you let it, again your call.
Depends on how bad you want it.
Sometimes you look like a fool and other times a hero.
Get her some therapy, meds and try to figure the triggers out.
Look at the signs for upcoming eruptions, they are there.
It sucks in a big way. Depends if you want to suck it up or not.
Just my take on it.
Still deciding if I have had enough or not.

Kind of like watching a person falling into a raging river and continually having to drag them out at your own risk.
When do you say "screw it" when I told you pick your feet up and not trip on the rocks. Sometimes it seems intentional.

One of the borderline personality disorder people I know worked on a psych ward. Her psychiatrist diagnosed her with BPD and she threw an absolute fit and would not relent until he changed her diagnosis to bipolar. People with bipolar have a chemical disorder. People with BPD are just evil. I have never met a person who lied more or who was more manipulative or hurt more people than that woman.

oops double post

Im sorry you are going through this. Without accurate medical/psychological diagnosis you dont know what you are truly dealing with.

Unless youre married you are free to walk away. If the relationship is as you describe, I wouldnt be sticking around to invest anymore time or emotions into it.

Good Luck

I think my dad is bi polar and its only gotten worse as he ages.

Yeah, I would never go into a relationship knowing the person I bipolar....

Whoa. Back up the bus. Would you avoid relationships with people who are diabetic or had a heart condition?

Bi-polar is an illness, it's not a personality flaw. People are not bi-polar, they have bi-polar disorder, a treatable illness.

I know some of you have had frustrating and heart breaking experiences with people who know who have bi-polar disorder, but I need to give another perspective.

My DH of 25 years was diagnosed about 10 years ago after years of depression and unhappiness. Yes, I asked him to go to get help. Because I cared about him and he was not able to assess his own wellness. I had to insist, but he trusted me and went to the doctor, got a diagnosis and has been in treatment.

It's not easy to find the right mix of medication and therapy, or even just the right medication, but a good support system can help anyone who is ill to want to get well and stay well.

I'm not going to pretend our lives have been easy, but there are joys that have come from DH's illness - we have had to work hard at our marriage and we are a strong couple. We have two amazing children who got to spend time with their dad when he was off work. He is still the man I fell in love with and married. He is kind and gentle and generous and lovely. And he has bi-polar disorder.

Please don't write people off. Please try to help if you can do that without doing damage to your own health. Please remember that people with bi-polar are sick and need help and treatment. They don't mean to be difficult. They don't know they are being difficult...

What this person said!!
The divorce rate for couples when one has cancer or other serious illness for instance is pretty high also.
Just a different scenario.
What if it was you that had BP and got bailed on or cancer? How would you feel about that. I believe the vows were for better or worse not comfortable and managable. In deed you may lose in the end but I can say I held up my end.

Depression is one thing, bipolar is too...didn't say to divorce, but I would not knowingly enter a relationship with a bipolar person know what I know...why torture yourself. There is a huge difference between bipolar and heart disease or diabetes.

I might get into a relationship with a bi-polar person IF they were willing to acknowledge that and get and keep help.

If a person refused to acknowledge theres even a problem :runforhills:
That would go for whether they are bi-polar or not.

And there lies the problem...they take their meds until they feel better and they stop.

What a crock of *$%(. Each person is different. Each Bipolar patient is different. There are many commonalities, but making a broad-based statement like this is like saying that everyone with blue eyes has fat ankles or some such nonsense. Have a little respect for other human beings.