The Youngest Adult?
 

What Age Do you believe your kids reach a "Adult Understanding" of things? Does it differ depending on the subject?
It seems Odd to me that a 11 year old can be charged as a adult in a murder case and a 18 year -1 day old is not old enough to decide to have sex.
Do you see a lot of difference between kids?
Most importantly do you WANT your kid to reach that understanding early or later?

I think its heavily individual based on most things. We have a 19, 18, and 17 year old.... and the 17 year old seems to have the best grasp on "how the world works". 19 year old is too stubborn to see the advantages of what she has (all the kids live bill free with us as long as they are in school-- she is a Freshman in college). 18 year old is just clueless. Odd that you can have 6 kids raised the same way in the same house, who all end up with a different grasp of concepts of "the real world".

I have always thought that 20 should be the beginning of adulthood.

Children experience violent video games and movies and TV for years, where the world is after you or you are hunting others, where the only way to solve a problem is to blow it away, and if you get blown away, you can just hit the reset button. We have a killer culture.

As for the age of adult responsibility, I agree that it must be case by case.

By mid20s the prefontal cortex is fully formed and adult in nature. Before that, impulse control is not fully formed in all kids. Girl's brains mature faster than boy's brains.
https://www.google.com/search?q=chil...w=1024&bih=663

I say if the government believes 18 is a good age to send a kid off to war, Then 18 should be the age of adulthood for anything.. murder, drinking, voting, what ever... All these double standards of age and what they can and can't do at an age to be considered an adult is too confusing to them...

I believe in one standard age, however I think it should be after you are through your teen years.

I'm 45 and some days I don't feel ready to handle the adult world myself!

:dance: That's what I've taught my kids. They are still young enough to listen,14 & 10. I've explained that what seems like a logical good choice at 16, 18, 20 even 22 may not look so "good" when they look back as a 30 yr old. I've said that really they should have a trusted adult (parents for now) as a sounding board on decisions till their mid 20's when they will have a better grasp of things. That doesn't mean they have to ask what to do and do it....just have someone to run through the through process with them and help them see any major flaws in their logic. Then make their decision keeping in mind the info they gleaned.

I don't blame video games, my kids know they are pretend. They have been to family funerals, they know that people die, and they do not "respawn". I think kids need to learn to deal constructively with there anger. Saying" just cause I got mad" is not going to cut it in the real world. :soap:
Rea

Are you saying that children can be manipulated into sex but are somehow Immune to being manipulated into murder?

I grew up with two sisters and five brothers. We are all LIGHT YEARS apart in most things -- all raised exactly the same way in exactly the same situation with exactly the same parents.

Nature has as much to do with it as nurture, I think.

By the time I was 20, I had been self-supporting for six years and had been with my DH for two. Having said that, I have a friend with a 24yo son who shouldn't be let out alone -- smart kid, intelligence-wise, but ZERO common sense and NO impulse control. Team that with the fact that he KNOWS he's more intelligent than 90% of the population, and it's a recipe for disaster.

There is a difference between being able to and WANTING to, Chewie!!! Some days I don't want to, either!!! :D

Unfortunately it just isn't realistic to evaluate each and every person on every aspect. I still think 20 is a nice solid age to vote, drink, join the military, smoke, etc... Not saying they can't get jobs etc... of course they can. But that would be the full age when all adult responsibilities/decisions are completely up to you. I would even allow that under 20 your income can be tax exempt!

And the world is different these days. I don't know too many teens who could ever afford to live out on their own. Around here the younger ones can barely get a job for more than 20 hours a week. Times are still difficult for many...

One is FAR more likely than the other

Some how it is always up to someone else as to determining when another is an "adult".
I know a few seniors that will never get to have a 2nd child-hood as they never out grew their first.......... or so it seems.

I believe we are discussing a legal definition of adulthood- which could vary vastly from actual fact~

That is becoming a bigger problem too. I know our youngest is still in college, but was working full time too. But, everywhere is cutting hours to keep all their employees below 30hrs since the new health laws passed. She is really upset because they will only schedule any hourly worker to 24hrs now, and only the 2 salaried managers work more. But the salaried people have to work way over 40hrs. It is just crooked the way businesses use people.

Take (3) 11 year olds.

Child (A) is raised in a two parent home. White picket fence, stay at home mom, dad works 9-5 M-F. Has a puppy, plays base ball, has a bed time, has restrictions on what he is allowed to view on TV, etc (you get the idea)

Child (B) is raised in a two parent home. It's in a seedier neighborhood. Both parents work long hours. He's a latch key kid, and so he has a lot of unsupervised time. Baseball costs too much to play, so he is not involved in any extra cirr. activities. His dad drinks till he passes out when he gets home from work. There are a lot of screaming fights, dad breaks stuff, sometimes puts his hands on his mom. He spends a lot of time alone, in his room, with his TV- computer- and cell phone.

Child (C) has absent parents. They are rarely home, because they are doing drugs, prostituting, etc. He is only there because the govnt gives his mom more money (more kids, more money) He's the oldest of 4 kids, and basically has to raise them. He has to steal so that they can eat. The violence he sees is not on tv, it's out his window. He has witnessed, in the last 30 days, 2 rapes, 4 beat downs, and 1 murder. He watched as the kid bled out. He has considered jumping into a gang because he wants a 'family'.....and he wants protection for his younger siblings.


You cannot have the same conversation with child A and child C.
There are SO many variables.

My kids are grown now.....and I was always honest with them.
I leveled with them.
If it was 'more information' than I felt they were ready to take on......
I worded it in a way that they could grasp it, and we revisited that topic when they were older.

I know what you mean. By the time I was 20, I had been a mother for four years and a wife for three. I ran the household and took care of daughter. My 20 year old? Still has to be nagged to do chores (but works her butt off at work), is just now dating for the first time and really has no desire to want to learn to drive. :shrug:

I think some of us are just born more mature.....

I do agree that if you're old enough to die for your country, you're old enough to have a beer first. 21 would be a good age for both.

By the time I was 20 I had been on my own 4 years.
Paying rent, bills, car pmt, insurance, the whole lot.
Worked 2 jobs, most of the time.

I am so thankful that my kids never had to live like this.

I was married at 18 and have been married for 40 years, my in-laws were married when she was barely 18 and he was 36 during the depression, he would have been labeled a predator when they were dating.:viking: My parents were married young and celebrated 50 years. I really do believe that it's societal concepts now days that has done this. People married young for years and years! Both sets of my grandparents married at 16 and one at 18, they celebrated 50 years and 65 years of marriage before they passed away.

When I got out of the house I knew how to run a household and my parents took no guff off of any of us. When I got engaged, my parents said it's time to find a full time job, so I did and I even had a curfew while we were engaged! I have a friend who did everything for their children, made the rode nice and smooth, it took the military for one and he has worked his way up through the ranks, their dd depends on daddy to get things done and the other will always need their help due to some issues which is different from the other too. She was a bit blind to the whys until I asked her what she was doing at 17......she was married to her highschool sweetie running a household. :soap:

You mean I have to grow up now!?!