the SIL...again...sigh..

Ardie/WI · #61 01/27/13, 09:12 AM

Blessings Mamita! You're a strong woman!

I've had to deal with a DIL who actively doesn't like me for years and I figure that it's her loss, not mine!

I keep my distance and live my life the best I can!

MJsLady · #62 01/27/13, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamita

I've said this before on the other thread, but I don't understand the problem. we live hours away. we NEVER, EVER butt in their business. ever. we only offer the same love we've always given our DD. that unconditional love of family. SIL just doesn't like us. I have tried. tried...asked him how I can fix it, cause I love him. no response. I love him. he used to be such fun. I keep going on about it, but it's because I'm so sad and lost. I'm thinking I'm even not worth knowing or caring about. I even decided I shouldn't bother to wake up any more. I hate...hate...hate...that he has me to this,

my DD doesn't see it. she loves her husband. say what you will about her, but it isn't about her. some may think it's her job to change things, but....she simply can't. he doesn't like us. he hates me. sigh. I wish he knew a true mother-in-law from heck. I wish he could somehow compare. I wish he knew how much he was loved.

You can't fix it. The issue is he can NOT control you. Simple as that. You are not bound to his wishes therefore you are an adversary. BTDT with folks in my own life. I refuse to play pawn to others.

Edited because i read more replies after I responded to this one.
For the young woman talking about man's position at the head of the family. This is true however... younger men are to RESPECT older women as mothers, not try to manipulate them into doing what they want. Older women are under no compunction to obey younger men who are NOT their husbands.
Mamita has not tried to tell the young man what to do or how to behave, she has just asserted her rights not to bend to his will.
As to calling your husband, for me that is nothing I prefer my Beloved deal with the males we need contact with, other than his dad or brothers and our boys. However since I am the family accountant, i end up doing it more times than not. I don't have an issue with guys, i just am old fashioned in my personal habits.