Daughter wants a tattoo!

When I was 14, I thought that a pair of purple bell bottom britches and a purple silk like shirt with them big ballon like long sleeves was cool !! I am so glad my DS's lost that picture or fergot about it !!

When I was helping raise my 3 stepsons, all 3 wanted tattoos. I said as long as your in my house, you must wait until your 18.... That way when your older and you regret it, you can't blame us.... I have tattoos myself, so I am not against them all together.... Out of the 3 boys, my oldest was the only one to run out when he turned 18 and get one.... It's in the middle of his back, and is a tribal circle. He said he regrets it sorta, not that he got one, just what he got....

Now as a compromise, we did allow piercings.... they are not permanent, and with our permission for this, they seemed happy....

__________________
Michelle

I have two teens here as well. I always told them I would support their decision on anything TEMPORARY. They could decide for themselves their own hairstyle and I would even support hair color changes as long as the color was within the natural spectrum for hair color. Told my daughter she could have a single piercing in each ear only. Anything permanent like a tat or body piercings would have to wait until they were out on their own as adults with their own money. Daughter is now 19 at college with a single ear piercing and nothing else (visible or that I know about).

Our rule in our home not until you are an adult, an dsupporting yourself which means you arenot lviing at home either. Also I suggest they find one they really like put it away for 6 months and then take another look at it and see if thye like it. A good artist is a must there are a lot more BAd ones than good ones. My eldest has 4, 2 were wellthougt out IMO and 2 wereknee jerk reactions to life. I love the celtic ones not so fond of th eother 2.

Tatts are an adult responsibility an das such are the privilege of adulthood

__________________
Do not Lead for I will Not Follow
Do not Follow for I shall Not Lead
I am but a Simple Drummer

As stated above, I'm 58 and got my first tattoo when I was 40. I love it. It's on my shoulder blade. It's my cattle brand as the center of a Texas wildflower.

Age and maturity in decision making makes for tattoo happiness.

__________________
Alice
* * *
"No great thing is created suddenly." ~Epictitus

I haven't read all the responses...but I will tell you what my daughter did..she waited until she was 18 to get one... didn't cost her much....she is 34 and now spending over 600.00 in several treatments to get it removed. Her's was just a small lady bug...on her thigh above her knee~

I found this on pinterest one day...cracked me up

Attached Thumbnails

 

IMHO
14 is a child.
If she wants a tattoo, then she can wait till she's 18 and pays for it herself.
A tattoo is perminate.
14 year olds don't "get that".

It is my responsibility as a parent to train a child up in the way he/she should go, that when they are old, they will not depart from it.

If you are against the tattoo for Biblical reasons, then state those to her.
She needs you to be a leader, bold, and honest.
Draw your line.
She doesn't need a "cool buddy" she needs her Dad to take up his role and Lead.

IF she chooses to get one when she is "older" then that is between her and God.
YOU fulfilled YOUR responsibility by teaching her what Scriptures say about it.

That's just my opinion on the matter.
Ultimately she is your minor child, and only you are responsible for her!!

__________________
I am sure of two things: There is a God, and I am not Him.
The movie Rudy

get here interested in henna. Same effect, but it wears off after awhile and you can change the design.

Growing UP OCB I was told similar, but it was "Your body is the Lords temple".
I'll leave the Theology there though.
I've always been into art and wanted tatts when I was younger, don't have any yet though.
I probably never will, guess I out grew it.

add me to the no at age 14 group. doesn't matter to me if the child is male or female, that's just too young. like most, I'd tell her not until she is an adult and free to make her own decisions. I like tats well enough, altho not the entire body thing some folks seem to get addicted to.

That's an easy one. Nope.

__________________
amylou62

Do you bleed red, white and blue?

first of all, I doubt all of her 14 year old friends have one. Kids always say that. Second....YOU are the parent. She is a child and has no idea what she wants at this age. I'd make her wait until she is 18. your house, your rules.

got any female friends with tatts? If so, let her see one that has "aged" a bit - lol..

I raised two daughters, both wanted tatts and both were told no. Neither died of desperation nor did either fail to have dates or do well in school. Both are 31 now and still do not have tatts.

But both did get piercings. Ears pierced (one hole) and daughter one got a tongue bar and daughter two got her navel pierced. Daughter one decided after becoming extremely allergic to her bar to have it removed and said that was a dumb move..I agreed..and hole grew up and all is well.

Daughter two still has her navel pierced and wears a tiny little ring in it. She still likes it and can keep it covered up if she wants.

My son is 22 and no tatts, no earrings and hair above his ears. His choice. He is my "professional" child..wants a career as a professor of History so he decided early on that if that didn't pan out he might decide to work for the State Dept. and so looks like the all American clean cut boy. His choice on the military haircuts too. Gets them at the AF base near his college or at the Army base if he comes home to visit.

I would definitely put your foot down and say "no" to a permanent ink tatt and let her get a temporary one..they come off after a few "washings" but remain long enough to "get tired of it". lol..

Good luck..and don't be a push over.

__________________
Be yourself - no one can tell you that you're doing it wrong!

first is that even legal in your state , it is not here they can't even be in a tattoo shop to watch till they are 16 here and 18 for tattoos.

what is the significance of grapes ? not judging just asking if she doesn't have a clear idea of what they mean to her then she should think about it and write it down date it and seal it in an envelope with a drawing of what she wants months later if she still wants a tatoo she should draw it out again what it means to her what it's significance is , sign it date it seal it up when she turns 18 she should open all her tattoo letters and look to see what she wanted why and how she feels about that now/then. the point is not to denigh her wat she wants but to take a lesson in personal growth that most teens just can't see.

next she , anyone should research shops , ask to see pictures of finished work , look at their drawings , find the artist who does what you want , not just the cheapest or closest shop

I have never wanted a Tattoo myself , but many around me have them including my wife it took her 2-3 years to decide what she really wanted , she did the research and it came out well, i went with her she was in her 30's


point is do find out whats right for you , be sure , and don't just get one cause you want one , don't just get whats cool now , don't walk into shop take 5 minutes to pick something of the wall and get it , think about it first.

Doesn't she need your written consent for this? If so, tell her she can do whatever she wants at eighteen!

Tell her OK, but you are going to get the exact same tattoo in the exact same place and you are going to show it to everyone you know and all of her friends.

__________________
Flaming Xtian
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi


Libertarindependent

Actually, it is 16 with parent permission

__________________
Saffron

IMO - 14 is too young. My dd has been asking for one since then as well. I did not negate it completely (that only gets their back up), but I said that she should think about which designs she would want to live with her entire life and that we would revisit it at 16. She has shown several to me over the years, and has changed her mind too. My dd is now 16 and still wants a tat. I am not fully comfortable with it yet, and have told her that mainly it will depend on what she wants done and that she needs to consider what it is and that it should have a meaning to her. Nothing visible, trashy, names, etc - and she agrees to that. I also told her I have to approve the tat and that she has to wait a minimum of 6 months to see if she still wants it then.
Basically, I am edging her towards that adult age of 18. However, if at some point she finds a tat that has real depth of meaning and sticks with it, then I will allow it. But she doesn't know that.

And that's the point. You are working with them to make a good decision while also working to hold off on that decision as long as possible so they won't get something they regret later. You aren't agreeing but really not. However, by stretching the decision process out for a long time, it gives the child a chance to grow closer to being an adult so that the decision isn't one of peer pressure nor of childhood visions.

I don't know if you and the ex have a good relationship or not, but I would recommend working together, but not letting her jump into it. I would also say to tell them both that 14 is way too young at this moment, but you would be willing to reconsider it at 16 provided ... blah, blah. blah.

...but that's just my opinion.

__________________
Saffron

I would also recommend not allowing her to get the tattoo. I was also very mature for my age at 14-15 when I first started thinking about tattoos. I didn't even have to ask my mother for permission because I knew the answer already! Definitely NOT... I held the same general image in my head for quite a few years but never got the tattoo. Just was not a priority money-wise after I was on my own after 18. A year after I had my son (at age 23) I was revisiting the idea and realized that having a child totally changed my perspective on the tattoo. It is very difficult to decide what to get when you don't know who you will be for the rest of your life!

And yes I have a tattoo now. It is something that I NEVER would have considered at a younger age, because of who I am now is not the same as who I was then.

I would also have to add that just because everyone else has one is not a good reason. Remember that saying "if everyone was jumping off the bridge....?"

Tell her to wear the same outfit for 30 days straight and then you'll think about lettng her have a tatoo. If she won't wear the same outfit for 30 days then what's to say she won't get tired of a tattoo after 30 days? At least you can take an outfit off.

That being said, I got my first tat when I was 38. It's a memorial tat for my cousin who was murdered when I was 18. It's a blue heart with two stars down by my ankle. It's in a place where socks and/or pants will cover it up and it's on the back of my ankle so when i walk toward you you can't see it. I can totally get a job with this tat.

I'm about to get another tat. This one of an infinity symbol with 5 daisies on it in memory of my best friend who passed away 19 months ago. The flowers are for her kids. There will be the words "Forever Family" in the infinity symbol. It's going on my shoulder. Again, I can get a job with it.

__________________
I refuse to believe corporations are people until Texas executes one.

I also believe that workers need Unions as much as gun owners need the NRA.

We told my oldest son he had to be 18 and pay for it himself. Well he was and after his girlfriend broke up with him,decided he should get her initial on the top of his hand. We told him he would regret it. Does he, oh yeah! His next tattoo was his sister's name, because she always would be. For Mothers day I got to pick the font for my name,and he also has my husband's name. He was going to get the whole family but his tattoo artist friend got a real job.