Need help processing thoughts before big decision

I'm sorry, I didn't read all the responces, so if I'm repeating what others have said, sorry.

We went down this road too. We put (at the time) our only child in day care for a couple of years while the wife worked. We finally figured out that it really wasn't worth it. Not worth the time away, not worth the gas, not worth the cost of child care, not worth the cost of continuing eduction classes, or the clothes she needed for work. Going to work and leaving a child in care is expensive. Will you really be that much ahead? Will your husband have to eat out a lunch more because you aren't home? Will you eat out more since YOU aren't at home?

If you can stay home, stay home. Find the money for your husbands business somewhere else.

Lastly, to those that worry about if he is dissabled or died. From your discription, your husband is a professional. I am as well. I have dissability and life insurance through work. If I'm down for the count, I get 75% of my income. If I kick it, my wife is all set and good to go.

Austin

Since you're looking for a new career path, I'd suggest Accounting. I'm not sure if this would interest you or if you are good with numbers, but I've noticed that there are always bookkeeper/accounting positions open and many of them only require an Associate's degree. An Associate's in Accounting is something that can be done entirely through online classes. The pay is good and you can always go back to get your Bachelor's degree when your children are older. It would also benefit your husband's business, since you could do the bookkeeping for him.

I noticed Bookkeeping/Accounting is listed on the link of the "30 occupations with largest projected employment growth" that was posted by Smalltowngirl earlier.

You need to spend time with your family and make your home soothing place. You'll never regret it. If we lived our lives with "what ifs" most of us would be miserable. If the "what ifs" happen you do the best you can. All you really have is today.

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My two cents; I am 57 years old. I was a stay at home mother until a divorced sent me into total poverty. I HAD to go to school and get a job. My children paid dearly in terms of my stress, my guilt, the long hours, the need for the oldest to help with the youngest, etc.

Six years ago I was granted custody of a now seven year old...I cannot imagine what it would take for me to work outside the home again.

Here I sit mid way through a masters degree, a Montessori Education certification, and other training...and I have no desire to use any of it outside my home. If I knew then, what I know now, I would have chosen a different route.

Dh and I spoke, again. I guess this time he got more of a sense of why I was feeling pressure, since he already was aware of the pressure in the first place. He felt awful, said he would never want to put that on me. He eased my fears about his boss because he will be testing his "product" thoroughly before he does anything out in the open.

IF things go south with his employer I can pick up extra hours and he can get a short term job until the business picks up. Between the two of us we can cover all the bases even if he takes a huge pay cut in the meantime. It isn't ideal but it wouldn't be forever. I told him if things look bad after a year or so that we would have to talk about him putting the business on the back burner and getting a job with a sane employer. (He has standing offers, just really wants to follow his own path) I just want to see him succeed because it would make him happy.

We also decided to try to revert back to our old fashioned man/woman roles. When he is away on work so much I tend to become the head of household and make most of the decisions. When I am away at school he does a lot more at home. It turns everything upside down. I get used to it but things work better when we each handle our own (equal but different) responsibilities. So, the deal is that he focuses on the farm, our income/bills, his business plan, taking out the trash : ) etc. That frees me up to manage the house, dote on him and love on my babies. In this way we each trust one another to do our own duties and can let go of worries about the others.

I'm still not sure what I want to do, I have time to decide before I had planned to register. In the meantime I'll see how I like my new part time job and chasing my girls during the day again. I'm just going to take it easy and see where things go, naturally. What I do know is I don't have to decide based on worries about the future business and how it will effect us. That's dh's department and all I have to concern myself with is encouraging him, standing behind him and pitching in extra whenever needed.

I'm no closer to a plan but have found a sense of peace in not knowing.

HL, just be VERY very careful if you continue that CNA work, and stick to doing your work correctly with special attention to the lifting. I've known many who either feel sorry for a patient and take a "short cut", or try to catch a falling patient and end up with back or shoulder problems for the rest of their lives.

Mon