Would you expect a price break?

Every baby shower I've attended was decorated, well, babyish! Pink or blue or pastel colors. Those hosting the shower used what they could afford to decorate. Mothers-to-be usually have a theme for the nursery, say Winnie the Pooh, but it's up to the guests to choose the gift they wish to give. Lots of times the gifts don't match the nursery theme.

Also I've never heard of the guest of honor being involved in the planning of her own shower.....

I did tell her this was out of my budget now that we have had a couple of unexpected expenses. I will also have travel and motel expenses on top of that. She's not budging on the type of cake. She is a cheapskate and would not DREAM of paying that much for a cake.

But, I told her I would do it and will.

Oops, I think cousin is trying to back out. I responded to her e-mail declining a price break (due to costs and time) by saying that I did know the expense and time involved since my Mother used to make cakes and understood her not giving a price break. I just wanted MTB to be happy.

She has responded back that she would rather not do the cake if it will cause hard feelings with her family. Her family is not involved in this other than MTB and MTB doesn't expect any price break.

I have sent my e-mail to her to someone else to see if it was snarky. I didn't mean it to be.

I think this gives you an "OUT"! Tell the MTB that you haven't been able to find anyone to make the cake that she wants. Offer to supply an alternate that is in your price range. Send pics! She then can decide whether to take it or leave it.

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Let's see what the cousin says. Cousin will deliver and set up. That alone is worth the extra. But if cousin backs out, I will tell MTB she will have to be happy with a normal shower cake.

I have the same thoughts, and do not think she should be doing more than saying what the color or theme of the baby's room is going to be.

This is insanity in my mind.
I would have to tell her that the cake she wants is not in the budget, but that you'll get her a nice reasonable cake. If she does not like it, let someone else foot this bill.

I know you will do as you see fit, but I am just astonished at this nonsense.
And worse, everyone (apparently) is letting her do it.

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I hope you have an out.

I must go read the first post to see what this MTB is to you. I might be thinking badly of a relative of yours, if so - I apologize.

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One more - and I'll butt out, you can ignore me if you wish - but "my nephew and his girlfriend"?!>!>!>>!???

Not married, not legally part of the family and she is being a princess. And the family is jumping, what if they say "be real".

Okay - I'm gone, but I wish you the very best in getting through this situation.

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Add me to the group who's never heard of a MTB picking out her cake, much less telling you who should make it. That blows my mind-and I'm relatively young in age. That said-my 20something year old cousin sent a wedding invitation with some cheesy poem asking for money instead of gifts, so clearly things change over time.

Shame on the cousin. I wouldn't feel right charging full price for a family member. I tend to think you were set up, too. Good luck.

Angie, she has something like 10+ hostesses to share the expense of the party. I'm going to ask if some can contribute to the cake fund. That is if the cousin doesn't back out.

She has a nursery theme and a shower theme. Both are very different.

I know some are wondering why I would offer to provide the cake if that money would be a hardship. Two months ago, when I offered to get the cake, we were in a better financial position. We've had $1500 in unexpected expenses in the last 6 weeks. DH is trying to get overtime and I am looking for work through an employment agency. Yes, MTB knows this. Just going at this point is going to be a hardship. If my sister, who lives 900 miles away, wasn't going to be there I would be tempted to skip unless more money comes in in the next month.

I had never heard of having that many hostesses but she says it's a normal thing for Louisiana.

Dani - be kind to yourself and your immediate family. Tell this child masquarading as an adult (MTB) that since the time of the promise you've had financial happenings that will not allow for this cake, and it will be difficult to even be there. It's a month away, she can designate someone else to buy the cake, and you can crochet the baby an afghan or something, or buy some diapers.

Be kind to yourself and your family.
Being honest with her gives her the honor of knowing that you are treating her as an adult and not a spoiled child that everyone is afraid of crossing due to the forthcoming tantrum.

Take care.

PS: above is just my suggestion to you

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Thanks Angie. I will wait and see if the hostesses will contribute. My sister, the grandmother to be, says she will contribute if they won't just to see if the cousin can do it. And hopefully work will pick up so none of it will be a hardship.

Nephew and MTB have been together for 7 or 8 years. They sometimes refer to each other as husband and wife and wear wedding bands but have never married. I don't think common law marriage is recognized in LA. At least that is what I was told.

FYI

Common-law marriage in the United States - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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What the heck is wrong with people? "She's not very gracious when she doesn't get her way"? "It's her day"? A DIAPER cake?

Dani -- you are VERY gracious to offer to buy this "special" cake for her, and I commend you for your effort. Especially is she is so spoiled rotten as to "not be very gracious when she doesn't get her way". But really, a DIAPER cake? This is what our society has been reduced to?

And, BTW, IMHO -- it's *NOT* her day. That would be her wedding day, not her baby shower. The baby shower is supposed to be about the baby.

To answer your original question, no, I wouldn't have asked for a discount, because I sure as shooting wouldn't be buying a cake shaped like a diaper.

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A cake shaped like diapers that are shaped like a cake. I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around that. I would decline to provide the cake as it is not in your budget.

I've been through this before, not with a cake, but offering a gift. Then the recipient requests something that costs far more than what I had intended to spend.

Here is an example that didn't happen to me, but shows how these things can go. My niece went to visit her grandma who lived on the opposite coast. Grandma had to go to the mall for something. Niece asked if she could get a pair of jeans. Grandma said "Sure" thinking the jeans would cost maybe $30.00. Niece came back with a $300.00 pair of jeans!

Grandma had to explain that she wasn't wealthy, and wouldn't be able to pay her mortgage if she spent that much.

I don't know what the cousin is charging for the cake, but if you hadn't already ordered it, I would have a talk with the mother to be, and explain that you had no idea when you made the offer that she had such an expensive and extravagant cake in mind. In fact, baby showers are usually organized and held by others for the mom to be, and she may have registered at several stores, but is thrilled with the gifts she receives, whether she had registered for them or not.

If the cousin hasn't started making it yet, perhaps the cake could be scaled down or something. Or perhaps you and several other family members could join together and all chip in for the cake, in lieu of other gifts. That really defeats the purpose of a baby shower though. Personally, I would prefer to give a lasting gift for the baby. That cake will be eaten and gone long before the baby even arrives.

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I was off doing some house stuff, thinking about this whole thread and then about died laughing.

A diaper cake is a cake of disposable diapers and little nick naks to resemble an actual layer cake.

Now - this MTB is requesting a REAL cake to look like a FAKE cake that is trying to closely resemble a REAL cake.

That just hit me as totally ironic.
So following the logic of that
Any real cake would look like a real diaper cake that is doing a good job looking like a real cake.

Oh me

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Diapers shaped like cake shaped like diapers shaped like cake...........it could go on forever.

I dont know if I missed it, but how much is this diaper cake that is real cake made to look like the fake diaper cakes that try to look like real cake, going to cost, anyway?

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