Easter and family fueds

many years ago I got into a habit of..if people were beginning to argue, gossip or criticise..etc...I just would get up and walk away, or leave completely if it wasn't my house...

when asked, I would just say, I just don't want to be a part of that nonsense..or I just don't want to hear it..or something like that..but generally I would leave without a word..

eventually I quit going to some of the get togethers altogether if there was going to be strife and confusion.

the bible says where there is strife and confusion there is every evil work..don't want to be a part of the evil work..or allow the stress to become a part of my life..unnecessary part.

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Brenda Groth
http://restfultrailsfoodforestgarden.blogspot.com/

There were eight siblings in my family, so it wasn't often we all got along perfectly, but my mother's simple solution to family functions during times of conflict was, you leave it at the door, or you don't come.

Sounds to me like your daughters, in asking for "special" days, are looking for attention and validation. If it were me, I wouldn't be giving it to them. Life is too short.

Perhaps they both need to get over the fact that family functions aren't about them, and suck it up. Maybe a day or two volunteering at a homeless shelter or a women's shelter, where they can see REAL dysfunction, might do them some good, too.

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Ignorance is the true enemy.

I've seen the village, and I don't want it raising my children.

www.newcenturyhomestead.com

We don't have many problems but once when a few were complaining about an absent family member~~~
I stood up, cleared my throat ---- and announced:

"I'm going to the bathroom.
While I'm gone, please get THIS out of your system!
When I return I want to hear a more pleasant discussion."

It worked surprisingly well!

Mom cancelled Easter dinner this year. She said there were too many petty arguments and back-biting after Christmas dinner. I'm supposed to slap her if she suggests getting the family together for Christmas dinner again.

Not if they are arguing!

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Critical thinking -- the other national deficit

As DH has Alzheimers, we do not have a normal life with friends. So I am close to my girls. They are just so sensitive, and can't seem to have a normal conversation, without getting feelings hurt. All have autoimmune issues and don't feel well, and all are going through the change...yikes!

The last get together for DH birthday a week ago, the two didn't speak, and still managed to get huffy, cause one interrupted the other while talking to me. The third came later in the day. I see I will have to get more aggressive with them all,or they think I side with them....sigh.

The sad part of it all is, then I don't get to see my grandkids. They all are old enough to drive now, so am hoping they will visit on their own, but you know how that goes.

It was interesting to read all of the posts.

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SE Wisconsin

I didn't read the answers, but if it were me I would say, "we will have Easter after church on Easter sunday, there will be NO argueing and if you can't get along ONE day of the year then let me know ahead of time so I can cancel and make my own plans."

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A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

lenii,

I guess I would do one of three things.

#1. Announce that UNTIL they can come and not fight, you aren't having a Holiday. (This could however backfire, where your daughters won't come at all - and you and husband will be spending Holiday's alone.

#2. Announce that you want no fighting. For girls in their 50's, they are old enough and SHOULD be mature enough not to fight. You want PEACE for your Holiday - not bickering.

#3. Have your daughter's come at different times. One can come for breakfast and be gone before daughter # 2 arrives for lunch and she to be gone before daughter # 3 comes for supper.

Or just set them down and tell them, they all need to GROW UP. Life is too short for them to be bickering, their Dad has Alzheimers, and YOU aren't getting any younger either! There will be some point in the future where neither your husband or you will be here to celebrate a Holiday and this year could possibly the last Holiday both of you are here. GROW UP and act MATURE for couple days a year for Holidays.

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Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania

"Everything happens for a reason."