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03/24/11, 11:41 AM
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Waste of bandwidth
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: OK
Posts: 10,618
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When anger and winning become more important than love and peace of mind, unfortunately many of us will say what we think will allow us to be the victor.
So, the battle is sometimes won. But the relationship suffers.
Win enough skirmishes and we become lonely champions.
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Less barking! More wagging!
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03/24/11, 12:31 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan's Thumb
Posts: 6,322
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Well said, Oggie.
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03/24/11, 01:06 PM
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Perpetually curious!
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: North Central Michigan
Posts: 2,747
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It really depends on the circumstances, there are way to many variables for a single answer to be given.
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03/24/11, 01:58 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 4,293
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When im angry I wont talk. I know the words I speek true or just wanting to hurt will hurt and degrade someone so I choose to remain silent untill I cool down.
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I'm so done here.
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03/24/11, 02:02 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,235
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I think it is both. Anger removes the filter from our tongues, and when angry we generally want to hurt the person we are angry at.
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03/24/11, 02:05 PM
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..where do YOU look?
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: northcentral WI
Posts: 3,918
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it's what they are focusing on right then, and is part (sometimes a small part) of what they think
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When faced with issues in life, where do you look for the problem; out the window, or in the mirror?
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03/24/11, 02:14 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 1,656
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mammabooh
When I am angry, I say what I mean.
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Not me!!!! I've bitten my tongue so often it has to be a few inches shorter;  but because of so called biting and not speaking out I still have "friends". :happy0035:
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03/24/11, 02:22 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 5,522
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Quote "When anger and winning become more important than love and peace of mind, unfortunately many of us will say what we think will allow us to be the victor.
So, the battle is sometimes won. But the relationship suffers.
Win enough skirmishes and we become lonely champions.""
Sadly, this all too often true. I know a few very lonely, very tormented middle aged people who thought that it was perfectly alright to say anything and everything during an argument; who left no hurtful thing unsaid. After a while, the object of this hurt will withdraw, and usually leave them. These people end up old, bitter, and utterly alone. But hey, they 'won', didn't they? Pathetic beyond words....
But to answer the original question... I think it's both--it's often what someone really thinks, and it is often a way to purposely inflict hurt.
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03/24/11, 02:34 PM
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If I need a Shelter
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ozarks
Posts: 17,695
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melissa
We have these big debates around here and we were talking about this a few nights ago. Of course with so many people here sometimes people say things when they are mad then later they say they did not mean it. I always think if you say something when you are mad it is probably your true thoughts.
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Yelp lots of times people hold their tongue not wanting to hurt then gets to the point they don't give a Dang!
big rockpile
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I love being married.Its so great to find that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If I need a Shelter
If I need a Friend
I go to the Rock! 
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03/24/11, 02:50 PM
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 7,154
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Knowing how to speak when angry can keep your nose out of the wringer, Example <> iF YOUR BRAINS WERE GREASE yOU WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO FRY AN EGG <> BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!
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03/24/11, 02:57 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Alaska- Kenai Pen- Kasilof
Posts: 9,365
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No, I view it as stricking out in furstration, an attempt to hurt one or done for shock value to alter or change another person's point of view or action. So, I believe that there are many reasons for it not just one.
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03/24/11, 03:15 PM
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central New York State
Posts: 5,694
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mammabooh
When I am angry, I say what I mean.
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Me too! I tend to try to keep things to myself and stay calm. However, when the pot boils over, I can be downright vicious and will be extremely specific about my feelings, regardless of the other person's feelings. But I never yell. .. 
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03/24/11, 03:17 PM
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just me
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Allegheny National Forest
Posts: 1,683
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It depends, I tend to be very blunt when I am angry but it doesn't happen often and it's not meant to be hurtful, but well it's hard to call someone a expletive moron in a nice way.
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I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave. Jareth, Labyrinth
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03/24/11, 05:29 PM
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: sc
Posts: 2,638
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I think it's when the real truth comes out.
dawn
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03/24/11, 06:11 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Western Washington
Posts: 2,400
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It can be either. Sometimes it is to get the response you want or hope for...hurting the others feelings, causing a guilt trip, or trying anything to "win". Sometimes is about not worrying anymore if what you think and feel will hurt them.
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Give Blood it saves lives.
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03/24/11, 06:17 PM
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Animal Addict
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 12,211
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Quote:
Originally Posted by salmonslayer
You cant take back hateful words or things said in anger even if you want to. When I am angry I just keep quiet and dont speak until I am calmed down...that has saved me from myself.
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Not too mention, it REALLY ticks the other person off, lol. Which means, you win to start with!!!
I think it is just mouthing off, not thinking, not meaning USUALLY. I also think it depends on the relationships of people doing the arguing. Right now, I have a lot of resentment built up against someone, and I hate to think, but if I got REALLY mad, like arguing mad, ALL of it would fly out in a hurtful fashion.
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Becky
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