whats the most embarresing thing your child ever did to you?
 

I would be interested to hear some, as I have never heard one that could top mine.
so here goes.

when my daughter was 3 or 4, we were in the grocery line at Cub Foods in Indianapolis. Saturday night, 5 or 6 carts in each line, at least 10 lines open. Needless to say, the place was packed. My cashier was a black woman, maybe 300+ pounds.

When we got up to her, my daughter stood up in the cart, pointed at her, and SCREAMED. HEY MOM! LOOK AT THAT BIG FAT BLACK LADY!!
Instant silence...

Pee in a toilet on display at the hardware store when my back was turned for a moment when he was 5.~Georgia

I've got one...my daughter, who is now 24, was in kindergarten. I got a call from her teacher one day who said to me, "Excuse me, but did you have a tragedy at your house recently?"...I sat there for a minute, and slowly said, "um...no...but if I did, what would it have been?" She said, "Well, Laura told me that last month you had twins, and last week one of them died."....I was stunned, and embarrassingly enough, I laughed and said, "No....believe me, the tragedy would have been that I had twins!"

...I had 6 at that point-lol.

Totally not his fault but ..we were shopping at a furniture store and I was tired so I sat on a nice white couch holding my 6 month old in my lap.
By the time I smelled a problem it was too late....I looked down and he had covered me and the couch with a huge diaper blow out...

One other...

I was dating 2 different guys at my church and I was talking to one of them
after church one Sunday .. I introduced him to my 5 year old and my son said "I know Mommy ..he was at our house last night"
Wrong guy!! They did look a lot alike..

Shucks...I'm taking notes! My boy is two and our girl is six weeks...give me some time! So far? Nothing...I must be shameless!

Both of my girls were little we were at the grocery store I was in line to check out my youngest was on my hip while my oldest was standing beside me this gentleman in front of me turned around and gave me the strangest look. I thought do I know him and whats his problem I looked down and my oldest was patting his back side He did not see her and thought I was getting frisky :o

I was in a grocery line once with my oldest son who was about 4 (now 30) when the lady in front must have passed gas; he said in a very loud voice, "daddy that lady tooted", I was as red as the tomatoes we were buying.

Once me and a friend had carried our four year old boys fishing,but we caught O
When we got home,there was right many family members there.My FIL asked the two boys did they catch anything?One said no, and the other one said our daddys made to much noise talking, for the fish to bite.What were they talking about,my FIL asked?They both shook their little heads,bless their little hearts,An said women,women,women.My FIL never let me forget it either.

Another time,same little boy wanted to drive the riding mower.I thought he was old and big enough to try.So I drove the mower where no obstacles were in the way.I had turned the blades off and put him on the seat,and the mower in grandma gear and let him have it.That little rascal,reached over and rammed it in high gear and went like he was shot out of a cannon and plowed into the side of my pickup truck,dang near totalling it,the truck,the mower wasn't even scratched.

I had to spend the rest of my days owning that truck,telling folks how stupid I was for letting that little boy drive that great big mower in the first place and believe me,I told it many times and probably told it more than once to a lot of them.When you have a bunch of rednecks for friends,LOOKOUT! #1...They like trying to tend to other folks business,like trying to spy something out, that ought not to be there.
#2 When they do spy something out,they will ask enough questions and not let it rest till they find out who the real culprit IS,then never let them forget it,and make them keep sweating.
And the Biggie,#3 Nothing they like better than catching you off guard(not remembering that they already know) and pointing to that almost totaled truck and ask what happen to my truck with all them dents in it?Like they don't know.

Then somewhere about the middle of that heartbreaking story, you are struggling and fighting back tears telling it for the 2nd or 3rd time to those ears,they get to laughing so hard,you all of a sudden remember the last time you heard that laugh,had to be the 2nd time,now this is the 3rd.
#4 Rednecks can't have a heart,no way:flame:

#5 Is it possible them Rednecks IQ ain't high enough to recall those other times they heard it?That would explain why they laughed harder every time they heard it,they were picking up a little more at a time.Like normal folks that can be feed understanding with a shovel,rednecks a spoonful is pushing the limit.:doh: Eddie Buck
.

When my oldest daughter was 4, I worked full time as a barn manager in a stallion breeding and boarding facility. When the owner decided to add pay-to-ride trails for boarding customers, we had a few riders show up every weekend who were big beer drinkers. EVERY Saturday evening after work, I would find a few beer cans in the drive or along the trail's end and I would pull over and clean them up on my way out. Since I was on my way home already, I would toss the empty cans in the floor or in the back of the truck to throw away once I got home. During one Sunday dinner with the in-laws and extended family, my daughter announced that mommy must really love beer now because every time she opened the door to mommy's truck beer cans fell out. I could have died on the spot.

Me an hubby was waiting in groc line to check out an had the 2 others at home with MIL well didn't pay no mind to our 4yr DD and she pulled down my hubby shorts right in front of everyone. :nono: We like to died due to hubby didn't put no drawers on that morning due to being a hot very hot summer day. She was trying to get our attention to get a certain toy. Turst us for now on we paid attention to her. LOL.. :o

Do have another one but it about a big stud horse used for breeding. Of what was asked about the 4th leg well u get the picture. LOL..LOL..

GLO

I really can't think of something that my children have done in public that has truly embarassed me (not yet anyway now it will probably happen today haha)

I can think of one I did on my mom though. My uncle brought over a lady he started dating to meet us and I was in second grade or so.

I asked him, "Uncle Chad why are you dating her- she's fat?!" Cindy (his wife of 25 years now) was standing behind me as my mother was facing her.

I have yet to live that down.

When my youngest son was very small, he learned to do a perfect imitation of me snoring if you asked him "what noise does Daddy make?" We were visiting relatives one day and he was in my lap. Rose asked "What noise does Daddy make", and his response was to pass gas VERY loudly. Needless to say, he never got the chance to do the snoring bit, and we never asked that question again.

When my son was little he was able to impersonate the siren of emergency vehicles very well. He did it one day while I was driving and he was sitting in the backseat. I pulled over and started looking for the vehicle and wondering what the emergency was. It actually took me a couple of minutes to realize that it was my son being silly.

When he was in high school I bought him a hermit crab for a pet. Needless to say he wasn't interested in it, but I was. I ended up with about 20 of them in a 55 gallon tank. My son went to school and told anyone who remembered me from working at the school system that I now had crabs.

On a completely different note: my friend went with me to Wal-Mart ( a long time ago). When I was checking out and writing my check, she leaned over my shoulder and announced in a very loud voice, "So, that's the name you are using this week!" I had to jump through hoops to be able to pay for my purchases.

I thought it was funny, but my wife was pretty embarassed.

When my daughter was about 3 or four, she went shopping with me and my wife. The checkout line had a display of batteries. My daughter said, "Mama, mama, batteries!" and tried to add some to the cart. My said, "We don't need batteries."

"Mama, you ALWAYS need batteries!"

I think I have you all beat for embarrassing moments.

When my son (31 now) was about 9 years old, there was a knock on the front door.

It was a neighbor from the back street. One of his friends mothers.

She had in her hand a cassette tape. Said we may want to play it.

We did. We were shocked, embarrassed and confused as to how to punish such a crime of privacy.

Seems he had put his little cassette player/recorder that his Aunt had gotten him for his birthday, outside our bedroom door one evening. Then he and his friend had made copies and sold them to all their friends at .50 each.

I imagine there were a lot of parents that heard that tape, also.

Thank goodness we kept the video camera in the bedroom where he couldn't get to it!

When my oldest was a year and a half I was pregnant with my son and their dad and I worked opposite shifts at the local mall. He had just dropped her off to me at my store so he could begin working at his and my managers and I were talking in the front right out in the main hall. I was wearing a sundress due to the heat and because I was bigger than a lumberjack. My boss asks my daughter, "Where's the baby?" When my daughter lifts the hem of my dress up to expose my undies and all and points to my tummy and says "THERE!" Luckily, it was a very slow day.


I once did the potty thing. My grandfather had taken me to the hardward store and apparently didn't hear me when I told him I had to go potty. I was three or four so when he wouldn't take me I took myself to the closest in the whole line of potties on display. I pooped in a display toliet.

Back in the old days, I had rebuilt a pickup and as it worked out, I finished it the day before Mother's Day.
I decided a trip out to Grandma's farm would be a good little maiden voyage/test drive.
We loaded up the boys, 4 year old Cody and 6 month old Zach and away we went, no license plates, no seat belts and 2 cans of slightly warm beer left over from the project.
About 10 miles out of town, a Highway patrolman pulled us over as I was going 5 mph over the speed limit.
As the patrolman was walking up to the pickup, I told Cody to keep his legs over the beers so he couldn't see them.
The officer proceeded to chew us out about no plates, no restraints, speeding, etc.
Cody said "Hey Cop!! Are you going to give my dad a ticket?"
The officer politely ignored him.
Cody didn't like to be ignored.
Then Cody grabbed one of the beers and held it up and said "Hey Cop!! Is it OK if we have beer??"
I guess the look on my face was pretty funny, because the patrolman burst out laughing, told me my speedometer was off and that I should get on the dirt roads as they were patrolling the highway pretty heavy that day.

Me and my Ex had our Boys in town one time looked back one of our Sons was peeing on the Bank right on Main Street.She looks at me and says we really need to take these Boys to Town more often.

big rockpile

my kids haven't done much in that regard... my mother on the other hand...

once, my wife had the birds and the bees discussion with our DD2, at age 2. Mommy was pregnant at the time with DS and we all went shopping at the local grocery. The cashier, making small talk, asked DD2 if the stork was bringing a new baby... after some argument, my DD2 stood up in the cart, red and rigid, fists at her sides and screamed, "Babies come from 'gina!". Yeah... good moment that... never did shop at that grocery.

When I took my betrothed to my parents home, for the first time, my mother put her arm around my soon-to-be wife's shoulders and said, "I know that Ronald must really be in love with you". "Really?", said my wife, "How do you know", my mother - without skipping a beat - said, "Because he's never dated a fat girl before". In a lifetime of tactless moments, that was the crowning achievement.

R

I stopped at a gas station along the route of a cross country trip. My oldest son, around 3 at the time; got out of the car and started to pee on the gas pump. Same son brought a group of friends into the house suddenly. I happened to be nursing my youngest (and being inside I wasn't completly covered up). The oldest brought his friends around in front of me and told his friends "see I told you my mom feeds my brother with her boobies".

We were walking down the street when we passed two moms and their kids coming toward us. One of the mothers was saying something about "your father...." My 5-year-old son piped up "*I* don't have a father." Yes you do, I hissed, Daddy is your father! "No (very sadly with a shake of his head) I don't have a father."

Same kid, now in high school. We got back his class portraits to find he'd been wearing his "I embarrass my family" t-shirt on picture day.

When dd was 3 and potty training I took her into the bathroom at Walmart for her to go before the long trip back home. When she was done, I praised her for keeping dry and going in the big potty. Then came my turn to use the bathroom. And upon hearing mommy go my dd in a VERY loud excited voice announced 'Good job Mommy! You went potty like a big girl!" you could hear the giggling all down the line of stalls :)

While I don't have children myself, I do occasionally take care of friends' kids. One of them believed in breast feeding and letting the child wean naturally. so...

I was wheeling the cart with the 2.5year old in the seat at the checkout line one day during summer. I was wearing a halter top. (this was a while ago :rolleyes: ). His mom was getting something we'd forgotten...Suddenly, out of nowhere, this grubby little hand reaches up and pulls my top down, and he says "Num Nums. Want num nums".

People are staring. I'm staring. I pulled up my shirt and said "Auntie Ann doesn't HAVE num nums. wait for Mommy" and the kid starts screaming "want NUM NUMS! want NUM NUMS!"

His mom was doubled over in laughter about 20feet away.

Well it isn't about my child but I was there when grandaughter, age about 7, at the time, was upset because she wanted to go home as she was tired. Her mother asked why she was so tired? The answer was "I couldn't sleep because you and Daddy were making so much noise with your bed." I have never seen my daughter in law turn so many shades of red.

RenieB

When my older daughter was about 4, she had been around for the birth of her sister and brother. We had discussed the differences between baby boys and baby girls - with me proudly using the correct term for various parts instead of "babytalk" with my daughter. She rewarded me one day in the grocery store by walking up to an old man in our aisle and saying loudly to him "I have a v----- and but my baby brother has a p----!" He and I stared at each other in shock, and I finally tried to laugh it off and dragged her away.

My youngest son was about 3 when we went into a Walmart bathroom (much like Mommathea's story). He went first, and then stood there while I went. He asked a hundred questions very loudly about whether I had to do #1 or #2, and if I needed help wiping. Then when I stood up he leaned over and commented loudly on the contents of the toilet bowl, congratulating me on a job well done. There were two other set of feet under the stalls in there, totally silent, not even breathing that I could tell. So I dragged him out without even stopping at the sink, and rushed my cart several aisles away from the bathrooms so they wouldn't know who we were when they came out.

This thread has made me laugh and laugh. Gotta love the innocence of kids - God love 'em.

I have 3 sons and could write a book on embarrassing moments but this one is my favorite.

Every year on Christmas morning (mighnight to be exact) we would escort DH grandmother accross the street and attend the midnight mass. Keep in mind that this is the largest annual attendance at the church. My son who was 4 at the time was constantly being scolded for wearing his pants down along his hips instead of on his waste. I say, "Boudreaux, pull your pants up." It was sort of a family joke because some extended relatives always had their crack hanging out.

Mass had begun and the church became deafeningly silent while the priests ascended the alter when all of a sudden my 4 year old loudly exclaims, "Moma, Jesus was a Boudreaux. Look! He's wearing his towel hanging on his ass too and you never once told him to pull up HIS pants". The whole church erupted in laughter to include the priests. I just wanted to crawl under the seat and die.

When my oldest daughter was about two and a half and just learning to speak clearly I went into town with her one day in the truck. Just as we reached the Interstate overpass a fella cut me off sharp in traffic and I yelled something unprintable out the window at them.

For the next two and a half hours she repeated it. In the post office, grocery store, hardware, everywhere. Little old ladies, cops, it didn't matter she said it over and over and over in spite of every attempt I made to make her stop!

Another time we were eating out in a restaurant. We were in a booth and a few feet from us was a family gathering where they had pushed four or five tables together. It looked like an Italian family to me so far as I could tell. The Kinder Major was less than one then and was being very squirmy so I stood up with her to bounce her a bit to try to calm her down. She didn't want to be held though and gave a big buck nearly out of my arms altogether. She fell about a foot or so towards the floor before I caught her (she was laughing I swear!). When I looked up every woman in the family gathering - two grandmothers and several moms were all staring at me in a way I eventually came to realize was this particular look that grannys and moms have for incompetent fathers....

.....Alan.

I don't know who was more embarrassed, my friend or me. Took the kids to her house to for a visit. We kept hearing the kids sneezing, then laughing, so we went to investigate. They were all on the bedroom floor by the bed taking turns holding a vibrator to their noses, which made them sneeze.

Yep, you win the prize!:

My very talkative 18-month-old announced to the cashier at the grocery store, "I'm not allowd to say s**t because it's a bad word!"

I think to top them all was this: We live in the country, and don't have neighbors within sight. So while potty training my boys in the warmer months, it was the norm for them to just drop their pants and pee in the grass when outside. Well, all was fine until we went into town for the annual Labor Day parade one year. We were sitting along the road enjoying the parade. I noticed some adults and kids walking in the parade pointing and laughing in my direction, so I looked down to find my youngest peeing all over the sidewalk and road!

I have six kids - there isn't enough bandwidth on this sight .....

just last week my 9 yr old - NINE YEARS! Told the principal at his new school that I paid him to watch TV all night because I didn't want to deal with him. (Okay, I did that once, when he was 4 and had been sick for a week and slept all day and wanted to stay up all night......)

not mine, but a friend of mine - in church on sunday, quietly, her son (maybe 3?) says "I have a p...." Yes you do, they said quietly. A little louder, son says, Brother has a p...." parents affirm him, even more quietly. A little louder, son says "Daddy has a p...." At this point they are trying to quiet him. THEN son says, in that little clear voice, loud enough so everyone can hear, "Pastor has a p....."

I think they left immediately after communion.

Oh my that is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's only one, so mine's tame enough, but....

I was at the bookstore with him, DH had taken the car somewhere and we were going to be there about an hour. He starts crying and crying, and I'm stranded getting evil looks from a group of thirteen year olds. Nice old man comes over and reassures me and told me about his kids, I could have cried.

Well, all that crying... yes. He had to poop. Which he did, all over himself, me, the chair.... oh my word. So I scoop up the diaper bag and head for the restroom to find a) there were no spare clothes in the diaper bag and b) the changing table hinge is broken and it's swinging tauntingly. DH Will. Not. Answer. His. Phone. And there I am, with a five month old covered in breastfed baby poo, coming out the neck of his shirt.

DH returned to find baby naked, wrapped in a blanket, and me with a damp shirt from scrubbing at the poo with wet paper towels and baby wipes. He asked if I wanted to go to lunch.

I love that man, but I nearly killed him that day.

Our son was potty trained the "country way" and during that time period we attended an outdoor wedding. Right before the wedding DS decided he had to use the bathroom. Right in front off all the guests he pulls his pants down, aims and shoots. Right in the middle of the main aisle where the wedding party walks!

When I was younger we had a door to door salesman selling cementary plots. He came to our door, told me what he was selling and asked for my mom. I promptly told him that when she died we would bury her in the back with all the other animals.

I have two, same child LOL

when he was about 4-5 I took him to the mall. We were in a small clothing store with everything crammed in tight. A beautiful, very dark skinned child was pushed in, in a baby buggy. She had a very round face and her hair was done up in puff balls, with on on each side of her face. My son points and in a loud voice ( why are they always loud) said

"look mommy, Mickey Mouse"

Then when he was 12 I decided to try a new recipe that called for a couple teaspoons of Kahlua for flavoring. Of course I had none. When we went into town I had a large list of errands and decided to just do a circle, but that but the liquor store before the bank. I asked my son if I could borrow his pocket money to keep from having to write a check for so little.
When we got to the bank and I was at the teller getting my cash out my son asks in a loud voice. "mom, did you remember to get enough out to pay me back for the money you borrowed in the liquor store'

This is something I did to embarrass my Mom. There were some nice ladies came over from the church we had just joined. My Mom said a cuss word, I don't remember but probably d**m or s**t. Anyway, she said, "Pardon my French." And I piped up and said, "Yeah, she does that a lot."

My oldest son was probably 3 or 4 at the time. He was VERY difficult to potty train. He could go poo or pee in his pants and not be bothered in the least by it. So, we were in McDonalds with a neighbor/friend and her children. Of course they all went off to play in the play area. At one point, my son ran up to tell me something and he was SOPPING WET! I asked him why he didn't tell me he needed to go. He said he was too busy.

When DS was about 4 we were in town and stopped by a RV sales lot. I lost track of DS, turned around and saw him "watering" the parking lot like he does at home.

Not about my child, but when DD was in 2nd grade, one of her classmates came to school and told everyone that her mommy was sick last night and pooped her pants. Her mom is the local bank VP.

Many years ago when my son was a toddler, I was the church pianist. He would usually sit through a church service with other family supervising him, but this was a night service during the revival and he decided he wanted to leave and go home. He first came up to where I was playing and pounded a few notes and when my mom caught up with him, he took off. Not running, but crawling on the floor, under the church pews and under people's feet. It became the service to watch just to see where he popped up. It also wasn't the first or last time he had pulled this same trick. Our church started a daycare/nursery service because of my son. He now has 4 children of his own and has been able to enjoy the same behavior. I do sometimes feel sorry for him.

Oh these are so funny!! Thanks for the laughs! I guess lesson learned is to not take children to the grocery store or to church!

I was at the grocery store one day, and my oldest son, who was about 3 or 4 at the time said loudly, "Mommy! My p..... is getting stiff!" I heard someone laugh in the next aisle.