Investing In Your Kids

First, if I were able to help pay college expenses for five children I would do so. It is not right nor fair that parents should go deep in debt for their child to get a degree. Who's to say that the child would help the parent out in the future? In the future they will have their own kids to pay for.

Two, kids today are not the same as kids 40-50 years ago. As a kid I collect pop bottles, mowed lawns, etc... to earn money, most kids (mine included)today aren't willing to work to make some money. They want everything given to them.

Second, anymore a BS/BA degree will only get you a job paying ~$28,000/yr (depending on location) which isn't much. Today you need a minimum of a MS/MA or even a PhD to get a good salary.

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Well, it all depends on the kid. Do the kids REALLY want to go to college, or is it that the parents WANT them to go to college. No doubt about it, going to college increases your chances of finding a good paying job - however, there are many college educated students with degrees that can't get a job in their field.

As for parents helping them, I've seen my fair share of kids who got a free ride to college, and pretty much blew it. If the kid only wants to party and doesn't care about their grades, giving them a free ride to college is a waste of your money. (Oh, I know you put in the disclaimer "if you raised them to be productive & respectful".) Overall that is good advice, but some kids just won't be no matter how they were brought up.

I was a kid that had no idea what I wanted to do for a career. And I was not interested in going to college - I hated high school - why on earth would I torture myself with more years (and especially when I had no idea what I wanted to do). I've done well on my own though.

And you also have to remember, that money isn't everything. Sure it does help pay the bills, but it really doesn't bring happiness. That point is also a good point of value to bring up in your children - money isn't everything.

If the parents can help their kid with college, and the kid is responsible enough, then sure no problem. And probably a better way of making sure the kid appreciates college, is to help them out - not give them a totally free ride. After the child graduates, then if you have the money, go ahead and pay off the loans.

As for your idea of investing in your kids and therefore if you don't have a retirement nest egg, you can depend on your kid to take care of you. HA! Don't count on it!!!! You have to remember that by the time the kids are off to college, the parents only have so many years to save up for retirement. Your kid has their whole lifetime to work to pay off their loans and to save.

While I agree partly with what you say, just because you CAN help your children doesn't mean you SHOULD. It all depends on the individual. Some children just grow up to be "bad eggs" regardless, and your financial help will only enable them to continue down their wrong path.

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Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania

"Everything happens for a reason."

My brother is an investment advisor and always reminds his clients that you can borrow money for education but you can't finance your retirement with loans. That isn't to say that you can't or shouldn't help your kids - you just have to be carefull about assuming all the risk of that investment by shelling out cash and assets you may very well need yourself. Loans, etc. allow the kids to assume the risk associated with the investment. Then that burden can be eased to the extent that parents are able. There's a big difference between appreciating something that you had to work for and being caught in a debt trap or not being able to complete an education/training for lack of funds.
We hope to be able to help fund education or training as much as possible but don't intend to financially back a four year binge!

-Eric

This was my parents' approach as well. Doing well in school was not optional, and my parents took an active role in my education, particularly my father. My sisters and I were expected to perform academically; if we didn't do well in school, we weren't allowed to play sports or have a job. School came first. College was not optional; it was expected. I can't remember EVER thinking that I had a choice about attending college. My parents did pay for a semester of my tuition, but I had significant scholarships that paid the rest. My sisters also had scholarships that paid portions of the costs, but they both went to private universities, so the costs were greater.

I don't feel like I OWE my children the cost of a college education. My responsibility is to teach them the value of an education, to monitor their progress (and make adjustments as necessary), and to help AS I AM ABLE. I will not sacrifice my retirement fund so that they can go to an elite university. If they want help, they will have to be party to the financial realities that we are in at the time. It is part of being an adult - making hard decisions. You can go to the state university and we'll help pay, or you can go to a private university and we may not be able to help...

-Joy

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-Joy

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The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like hard work. --Thomas A. Edison

I said I'd give my last penny to help out my kids, and a couple of folks said they hoped I'd feel that way when they're 25...and maybe making bad choices.

Well, the thing is, if I gave them money when they were 25 (or whenever) and making bad choices (don't get after me for judging what's bad, you know what I mean here) then I wouldn't really be helping them, would I?

It's one thing to bail someone out once when he does something stupid or has a run of bad luck, it's another thing to make a regular habit of it. That isn't help. That's called enabling.

Edayna, My son who i love very much willl not get a free ride for his education.
He will pay rent at 18 in ih is not attending school (high)to me and he will be offered to sign the lease and have the option of laundry service at and additional fee and if he wants meals fine that to will be arranged at a fee along with a post time and menu.

All this will begin the month after he is out of high school at 18.

He knows it so. My money is mine. I have faith that he will not need me.

He will have a business that we (child too) started for the son. He will have 20 acres to make it. I was raised this way and i come from a very wealthy family. amoung 4 children we have 1 phd, 2 masters, 6 BA degrees. All education paid for by children.

And by the way the money collected will be put aside to give back to the child when he does finally leave us. (But he does not need to know that he just needs to learn to keep his word and pay his bills.) i want my kid NOT to need me. I want my kid to know that he can make his own life. I want him to be please with what ever he does do. And this child is known to be brain damaged but we are teaching him coping skills to make it. We know that he might fail but it would be our failure if we encourage him to do all that he can.

If as an adult he simple can not make it on his own due to his limitations then we would step in and accept that he needs us and we would not allow him to suffer due to his medical condition.

My brother was burnt in a gas exploionat age 9. He was the highest % 3rd non military person to live for years. He was not to be able to walk. he got a tennis scholarship to college. Why limit children by not pushing them to accept that life is hard work and to achieve goal they have to set them and work for them. I want my son to be a man not a boy when he is equal to 18 (estimated age for him to reach this develmental phase per specialist will really be 26) so when I say 18 for my son I have to see where he is with all the special treatments and care. So far he is ahead of where he was to be at this time. he has not stopped or slowed down. He is an only child and we spend hours each day working on life skills. He is our full time job.

I remember being horrified when I had to pay almost $25 for one textbook in 1978, but my sons routinely had required texts, not available used, that cost more than $150 per book, when they were in college from 1999-2004. They were not able to earn six times an hour during their summer jobs what I could earn in mine at their age, and that's only the books, not the tuition. Tuition has risen so disproportionately that was impossible for my kids to do what their Dad and I did - we earned enough money over the summers to put a good dent in our annual tuition. But tuition has risen much more than hourly wages have. Like Edayna, I considered the money I spent on their education to the the best investment I ever made; they both have stable jobs with good incomes, and have both volunteered to take over the remaining loans their Dad and I had taken to cover their tuition once they paid off their own loans - because they each earn more than their Dad and I do.

kate

I still am paying off the loans I was encouraged to get. Everyone told me it was the way to go. I should have worked instead. The only reason I got my degree was because I promised myself I would have one before I got married. It showed up 2 weeks before my wedding and hasn't done me a bit of good. My kids know that they will not get a lot of help as we just won't have the money. My daughter may or may not be college material but insists she wants to work with animals in some sense. My son is just getting into football and loves it. His primary focus? He wants a full ride scholarship to go to college from playing football. He sees his love of football as the key to getting into a good college AND getting it paid for so he can get a degree in computers (gaming ). He is "only" 12 1/2 so we will see where all this goes when he discovers girls and a social life We will help when we can but I refuse to finance it entirely. I see far too often where that leads and the kids just blow the money and get nothing but bad grades and party stories to show for it.
JMO

Melissa