OMG - what does this make me??

gleanerl · #21 07/28/07, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoggie

As many of you know I live in a very small community. Just down the road from me lives a young lad, about 15yo, who is one of our local "bad boys" - let's call him "X".

Last week I saw X with about four of his mates obviously babysitting for his little girl cousin who is about 3yo. I went cold when I saw them - I'm not sure I would let ANY bunch of teenage boys babysit a little girl like that. Then I gave myself a good shake and a telling off - who am I to judge them right? Just because they are up to all sorts of other trouble does not mean they would hurt anyone.

This morning I found out that X and a bunch of these same "mates" were at X's house and assaulted another 15yo boy with one of X's mother's "sex toys"

I know that in reality there is absolutely nothing I can do. They are nothing to do with me. I worry intensely for the little girl cousin. But I suppose mainly I am just venting - I have a whole jumble of stuff going on in my head at the moment. But I can't talk to anyone here about this - I hear an awful lot of stuff in the course of my week and always try really hard not to transmit gossip onwards.

Am I THAT nasty that I could see this in these boys? I think that is what worries me most. What is it about me that sees this side to people?

hoggie

you have "vibes"... and that is not a bad thing.
you need to learn how to recognize them and deal with the information.
it is a spiritual/God-given thing..
my sister is like you, and she's been very accurate.
i'm that way a bit, yet i too, feel like i'm judging people.
so i usually push the vibe away.
my sister doesn't, she embraces it... yet she is very discriminating about who she tells.
if this makes any sense to you, then you have good vibes.

Hears The Water · #22 07/28/07, 10:30 PM

My late dh John was the one that tought me to listen to my gut. He called it the "yeeee" feeling. I now call it the Spirit of discernment. I also consider it a gift from God. Different issues trigger different feelings. There is one certain feeling that makes me just want to run away from whomever is giving it off. I try very hard to not ignore that feeling, but I also try to temper it with giving someone the benifit of the doubt. I guess I would say to you that you are not odd or bad because you can recognize this in other people, and in the future, go with your gut feeling. HTH
God bless you and yours
Deb

hoggie · #23 07/29/07, 04:14 AM

Rose - I have not spoken to her but I cannot imagine she does not. Like I say, it is a very small place, the boy's mum is her twin sister, and he seems to have vanished, so she can't not know that something has gone on.

On another note - thanks to everyone for your reassurances. I was starting to think that I must be an inherently bad person myself to be able to see these things in other people.

hoggie

crafty2002 · #24 07/29/07, 04:39 AM

Hoggie, I am thinking you need to get off the rocking chair and report it. For Gods sake girl, if they did it to a 15 year old boy, they have been all over the little girl.
I can understand how you gave them the benifit of the doubt to start with, but not after you heard what you heard.
Put it in the hands of the people that know how to handle these things while the little girl is alive. Kids are dieing all over the country because other people keep their mouth shut. You don't have to tell them who you are but you do have a responsability to report it. As someone else said, you can be charged because you knew something and didn't call the officials.
If that little girls dies, you can be held as accountable as the preverts that does it.
Don't doubt yourself. Make the call. Please, for the 3yo's sake. Make the call.

crafty2002 · #25 07/29/07, 05:04 AM

And you are not a bad person to see this in someone else. I look at it as a blessing. Some people can't see black in front of their face but the Good Lord gave me the blessing to read people. It doesn't take me a minute of meeting someone and I can see the evil in them if it's there. Stands out like a sore thumb. It's in their eyes and smile. I just keep my eyes open and wait for them to prove me right, and I have a good tract record.
In your case, you have waited long enough to know the fact that they are evil people.
I surely don't feel like this is a bad flaw in me. I have some, but I don't think that is one of them.
You may be feeling bad about yourself now, but that is for no reason. But if something happens to that little girl, you'll never forgive yourself for keeping your mouth shut. Please

that little girl.
Dennis

hoggie · #26 07/29/07, 06:49 AM

I obviously didn't make that bit clear. It has been reported - I found out because it had been reported and someone was coming over to deal with it.

hoggie

crafty2002 · #27 07/29/07, 09:32 AM

Well since you found out after it was reported you don't need to report it. I still wouldn't feel bad about myself, just because I seen it coming.
At that time there wasn't anything you could do about it.
I expect the 15 yo boy will get revenge of his own for what happened to him.
As I said, you are blessed to be able to see the bad in people. Just keep your eyes open and they will show thier true side. It's good to be able to distance yourself from people that you know, or rather feel, are up to no good. JMHO
Dennis

MarleneS · #28 07/29/07, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseGarden

Marlene, I sure as heck wouldn't leave a 3 year old girl with a boy who had at the least beat up another boy in a gang situation and possibly even sexually assaulted him with a sex toy. If the minimum they had done was 'beat up' another boy, there is no way in heaven or hades I would leave a child with them

That would be just stupid! Sorry to disagree so strongly, but that would be an incredible lapse of common sense! That would be just ASKING for trouble! How could anyone even think about risking a child's safety in that manner?

Now if the mother of the girl is leaving her child with this boy/boys, then maybe she needs to have some sense talked into her.

Hoggie, you go with your gut instinct, it's there for a reason! It's all well and good to give people the benefit of the doubt, to be compassionate, but when they prove what kind of people they are by doing what you've described, then no, you do not have to continue to give them a second chance. Safety depends on it.

That's okay RoseGarden, if you are calmer now you might want to re-read my post to discover that I personally wouldn't leave a child with someone like Hoggie descriped either. I just thought it best to maybe take into consideration what kind of dire straights a mother might find herself in to allow that to take place.

Once again, I hope that Hoggie, or some other trust worthly person, let the mother of the little girl know that they will take care of her child until she can make better arrangements. Just think everyone should be aware of what is likely to happen if everytime your radar goes of you run to the authorities with your "feelings" - you will be much like the fairytale of the little boy who cried wolf.

Could be that I do not much like the idea that all solutions involve handing the problem over to someone else and thinking you have done everything you can in the best way possible.

Marlene