Miscarriage Question, should I send a card?

Bernadette · #21 04/11/07, 06:40 AM

What do you feel comfortable with?

If you are not sure how your condolences will be received, but feel the need to express them, send the card. I like the idea of the blank card with your own thoughts written inside. Make sure it is written in such a way that it applies to all - SIL, your brother, and even the little girl. Perhaps a line like - 'When you are ready to talk, I'm only a phone call away' - this allows them their privacy at first if that's what they want/need. If they haven't called within a couple of weeks, then call. Even generic chatter followed by the comment - how are you doing? will provide them with the opening to talk about the miscarriage - IF that's what they want. Different people grieve differently. Most importantly you will have expressed your sorrow, and your willingness to help if it's required.

Also, I find cards wonderful. They can be re-read when required!

arabian knight · #22 04/11/07, 09:44 AM

I would send one. I lost my Mother when I was 18 months old when she had a miscarriage, so I not only lost a brother or sister, but also lost my mother at the same time

A'sta at Hofstead · #23 04/11/07, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian knight

I would send one. I lost my Mother when I was 18 months old when she had a miscarriage, so I not only lost a brother or sister, but also lost my mother at the same time

Geeze AK that is so sad, I am sorry to hear that.
I am going to the card store this afternoon to find the perfect card, and I am calling tonight. I wanted to call last night - but I am sure she was groggy from the procedure.
I was so happy about this pregnancy myself, me being the youngest sib at 43, this would have been my last niece or nephew, and I had my fingers crossed for a boy as my brothers have had all girls, so the Helgason name does not go on....
So very sad.

arabian knight · #24 04/11/07, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hill Crest Farm

Geeze AK that is so sad, I am sorry to hear that.

Thank You. This was back in 1951, you don't hear much of this happening now days because of better health care and hospital procedures. And being 18 months I never "knew" my mother. My Grandma and Grandpa, Took Dad and I in. So I still had a "Family" type situation. Then in 1963 I was 13 my Dad remarried. Moved to another city where were a "Family" again. And in 1968 after HS. graduation I moved back with my Grandma and Grandpa.

MelissaW · #25 04/11/07, 11:57 AM

Yes, an acknowledgement of some sort would be so kind. My sister-in-law said the most healing thing to me when I lost a baby. She said, "You lost a baby who you love. The baby was already a person to you." She had lost two children before me, and said that she gave her little lost ones names and thought about them all the time. Just hearing someone say, "your baby was a person" meant so much to me because my baby was real and I didn't want people to pretend like he or she never excisted. Hugs to you and your family!