11/24/04, 05:46 PM
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In Remembrance
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 6,844
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Techie Joke
> Chemistry Midterms
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
> chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
> professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
> course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
> soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
> belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
> Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
> change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
> for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
> Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
> until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
> over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
> into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
> must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
> frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
> over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
> therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence
> of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
> "Oh my God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
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