why did you start homeschooling?

bama · #1 09/20/12, 07:48 PM

just wondering. . .

my 3rd grader is having trouble in school this year like never before. i am basically re-teaching her every evening, which is just too much for her. she is at school from 7:40-3:10, then after i get home, she has as much as 2 hours of homework (some of which is the re-teach time). anyway, with these struggles, i wish that we did homeschool, and i was wondering what made you start - religion, how you grew up, a problem with local schools?

mom in oklahoma · #2 09/20/12, 09:17 PM

I started homeschooling when my oldest son was "playing" i.e. lot of trouble focusing at school, then doing his work at home, that made for a VERY long day. I started homeschooling my middle daughter last year, she is now in 5th grade. The online school we use has more help available for reading, she has been diagnosed with surface dyslexia. The hardest thing my daughter has dealt with is no longer seeing her "best "friend, I have tried to get them together, but it just doesn't happen.
Youngest is still in the local school, they seem to really be trying to help lol.
He has been diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder.

I was homeschooled through an umbrella school through highschool, my husband on the other hand, was not sure about me homeschooling, he has nieces that were pulled out to homeschool,than they didn't do anything, they did get their ged's though, and one I know of is going to college. I must admit, I did tell him that I was NOT his ex sister-in-law.
Anyway,
That is why we started homeschooling.

chickenista · #3 09/20/12, 09:45 PM

We started during 2nd grade.
DS, a very happy, very creative, very intelligent child who has never had a bad thought about anyone and has only gotten mad about three times in his whole life, was sick, thin to the point of bones showing, failing, exhausted, being told that he was retarded and needed medications, and still he hugged the teacher (bully teacher, horrible human)and thanked her every afternoon.
He was having suicidal thoughts, had lost all creativity (no time to be creative) had dark rings etc.. and ended up in the hospital for 3 days.

We jumped through all the hoops adn tried to work with the school, but even the guidance counselor was horrified at his treatment. Nicest kid you would ever want to meet too.
I was anti-homeschool. I thought it was important for him to learn to meet the expectations of someone besides myself. I had only met crazed and maniacal homeschool kids, but I realized that I could do better.
I had to do better.
It is my ultimate job as a parent to insure an environment where my child can prosper and grow and be the best that he can possibly be.
So... I made the decision. Then DH got on board. I filled out the paperwork and carried it with me..until the day that DS said he had finally had enough. I let him drop it in the mail. He had an active voice in the process. He had power over his life... 4 days later we got the official word in the mail and he NEVER set foot in school again. His choice.

Now he is happy again, creative, 9 years old adn doing high school math and taking physics at the local college (unofficially and just for fun) has an active social life that he never had time for before, and knows more about everything than any child his age in 'real' school ever could.
He has TIME to learn now.
He has TIME to read books for pleasure (50 pages a day minimum is required here)
He has TIME to actually play and talk with friends.
He has TIME to daydream out the window.
He has TIME to watch documentaries for hours if he wants.
He has TIME to submerge completely into the various tribes that fought against the Roman Empire (his history thing..)
He has TIME to learn to cook and to cook breakfast.

Yep.. best thing ever.
And I chose to homeschool to save my child's life, both now and future.
Now I have hope that he can be and do all that he can and wants.

Sonshine · #4 09/20/12, 10:04 PM

One day I met a lady that homeschooled her two kids. One of the kids was preteen and the other was in her early teens. Those two kids were the most respectful kids I had ever met. I spent quite a bit of time with her and those kids and it really made an impression on me. I decided then that if God ever blessed me with a child I would homeschool. Then the day came when we found out we were approved to adopt a child. I began praying about how to raise him and kept thinking about how the Bible tells us to train up a child in the way he should go. I have a tendency to take the Bible quite literally most of the time and took this to mean it was my job to teach the child God was blessing me with. DH and I discussed it and decided that that was what we were going to do. Then when DS was about 3 we realized something was wrong. He was not talking and his behavior was quite different than other kids his age. He was becoming almost feral. After seeing many specialists we concluded that his best chance in life was to be taught one on one and most of his doctors agreed that homeschooling was his best option. It's not always been easy because I have not been able to find a curriculum that matches him, so I have to piece one together, but it's been well worth it considering some of the specialist told me he would never talk and that he would one day have to be institutionalized. He's now 14 and has one of the sweetest personalities you can imagine. He's very social and has been blessed with some wonderful friends. He does not work at grade level, but he is able to read and do simple math equations. So, for us, our homeschooling journey was never in doubt, but our reasons for homeschooling expanded as time revealed the need.

PNWKatie · #5 09/21/12, 09:27 AM

I had heard of homeschooling, but didn't know anyone who actually did it. My son had a really rough 4th grade between a schedule of "Mrs. X teaches Monday, Tuesday and every other Wed. and then Mrs. Y teaches every other Wed., Thurs. and Friday. But then the student teacher is going to teach for x amount of time. I have homework questions about assignment XYZ, but no body can help me or answer questions until Mrs. Y is back at the school" Which DROVE ME NUTS! and the bullying starting up, and the fact that it looked like he would have the same teachers the next year, he was almost in tears! At that point I said "NO MORE" we pulled him out of school, unschooled him or very loosely scheduled him on curriculum and two years later when he thought he'd like to try it again, we put him in public school. He didn't miss anything during the time he was gone, he had a really rough year in the middle school there and then we moved to our current location. While the schools here are better in some ways than what we were dealing with, I decided to homeschool the girls before I ever even put them in the public school system. My son is graduated from HS now, and did fine, but I wish we'd had a better support system and continued homeschooling a little longer with him. We didn't do it out of any religious base, I grew up in a public school system and enjoyed it for the most part, but school has changed A LOT since I went and I don't see them getting any better in the near future.

bama · #6 09/21/12, 11:26 AM

thank you all for your responses!

i always wanted to hs my kids, but due to finances i have always worked. however, this year is really presenting a challenge - lower grades, and the first time ever, dd says she doesn't want to go to school. it is just troubling to me, but she denies any bullying or something like that. but i am scared to make that leap - our personalities clash and i am not sure that i am the right fit for teaching her. i would need patience galore, much more than what i currently have.

PNWKatie · #7 09/21/12, 11:52 AM

I think most of us were "afraid to make the leap" the first time. Have you considered an online public school? She'd still have a "teacher" so that might take some pressure off you, but she could go at her own pace. Of course shed still need some supervision at home during the day. Hope you figure out something that will work for you.

Sonshine · #8 09/21/12, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bama

thank you all for your responses!

i always wanted to hs my kids, but due to finances i have always worked. however, this year is really presenting a challenge - lower grades, and the first time ever, dd says she doesn't want to go to school. it is just troubling to me, but she denies any bullying or something like that. but i am scared to make that leap - our personalities clash and i am not sure that i am the right fit for teaching her. i would need patience galore, much more than what i currently have.

Look at it this way, you have been teaching her her entire life. It was you who taught her to walk, use the potty, talk, color, eat with utensils, ride a bike, ect. In the scope of history, public school is a pretty new idea. Parents should know their child better than anyone else. You know the best way for her to learn, whether it's hands on, visual or reading about it. You know when she's getting frustrated and needs to change directions for a bit.

chickenista · #9 09/21/12, 04:09 PM

The first step of homeschooling is the 'unschooling' part.
The kids need a good amount of time after they are pulled out of public school to unwind, to let go of everything they have been carrying around etc..
And they need to learn a whole new way to learn.

We started very, very slowly.
We did nothing for a few weeks.
Then we started with documentaries. He watches documentaries constantly and always has, but we started watching on topic and then discussing them a bit.
The reading on the subjects, then 'review', where he got to go over math he knew, but without pressure.
It took about a year for him to stop saying that he was stupid etc.. which is what he was led to believe in sachool.
Then he grew in confidence etc..

This year I am trying a different approach. I loaded his computer with websites where he has free reign. National Geographic, Geology.com, Science News, Khan Academy and about 30 other ones.
We are trying self-directed schooling. There is a topic list of things to learn. He can either find info online and learn that way,or we can go back to reading the chapters etc..
I found that doing the textbook thing wasn't really sticking in his head, but if he reads it/watches about it online he retains it all.
So... giving it a shot.
Homeschool can be anything the two of you want it to be.
It will take time for her to adjust to all of the free time she will have.. and oh boy! Will she have free time! She can knock out everything that she should be learning, watch a ton of documentaries etc.. and still have a majority of her day left.
That first few months out of school is tough... it takes them awhile to remember what to do with free time..

rxkeith · #10 09/21/12, 11:04 PM

before we even had a child, my wife said he or she would be home schooled.
for us its the best decision we ever made. home schooling allows your child to be the person they were meant to be. you don't really have to be a teacher. its more like being a guide. the kid is going to learn. they want to learn. traditional schooling more often than not kills the desire to learn. don't get too hung up on, but how am i going to teach him this, or how am i going to teach them that?
you as a family will figure things out.
if you have doubts or questions about homeschooling, contact local homeschooling organizations, and start going to meetings or activities. check on the city or county level. you will have the opportunity to meet and talk to other homeschooling parents, and kids at every stage of the process. they will be a wealth of information.

if you have more doubts, read what john taylor gatto has to say about schooling.

keith

Laura Zone 5 · #11 09/22/12, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bama

just wondering. . .

my 3rd grader is having trouble in school this year like never before. i am basically re-teaching her every evening, which is just too much for her. she is at school from 7:40-3:10, then after i get home, she has as much as 2 hours of homework (some of which is the re-teach time). anyway, with these struggles, i wish that we did homeschool, and i was wondering what made you start - religion, how you grew up, a problem with local schools?

Homeschooling?

Yes, Yes, and Yes!!

lonelyfarmgirl · #12 09/22/12, 12:50 PM

I had never heard of homeschooling. I bought my first house where I did because the school system was supposed to be all that. DD went to a school just built for 1st grade and 2nd grade. Then I pulled her out after that.

During her time there, she got in trouble all the time. I remember the music teacher telling me they didn't bother with instruments until 5th grade because kids couldn't retain the knowledge or abilities or skills required to learn to play them. That was the first thing that p'd me off. It went downhill from there.

The very next year after I pulled her out, I saw on the news that the janitor there molested a little girl in one of the closets. So much for a school system that was supposed to be tops!

I have made so many mistakes over the years, and really wish I could do over, but I still believe pulling her out was the best decision.

Today, my answer would be, I don't want my child indoctrinated with the governments immoral socialist agendas. Public school is fairly worthless, IMO. Just a glorified babysitter.

dablack · #13 09/27/12, 01:33 PM

Originally we had only met kids with big problems that homeschooled. We thought home schoolers were WEIRD! Luckily for us, we lived in a great school district right next to NASA. Most of the folks were PHDs and the kids were very bright. Then we started to have friends that had kids in the school system. Sure, they were all bright, but they all were 3rd grade and younger and had hours of homework every night. It was all stupid projects that the folks had to help with. Also, almost every kid had a bad attitude. Then we moved and it seemed like everywhere we went we were meeting a new homeschool family. Lots of very nice families with great kids. With so many examples of great home schoolers and all the negatives of public school we decided. Life is just too short to send your kids off for 8 hours a day and then spend the rest of your time with them doing school projects, homework, or practically required extracurriculars. Our oldest is already nine and we can't believe we only get another nine years of her before she is gone.

kinderfeld · #14 09/28/12, 06:55 PM

I have always wanted to homeschool my children. Mostly I had a bad experience in public school, because we moved all the time. I wanted to be homeschooled. Then when I had my DS I started teaching him is basic learning skills and it grew from there. By the time he was able to enter Kindergarten he was well above average. Then after going to the states website to review the public school and private school scores, my husband and I decided homeschool was the best option. At his age (6) he is at a ps 3rd grade level. He LOVES to learn and explore.
My stepson was in ps until the middle of sixth grade. We finally convinced his mom to homeschool him. It was very rough at first for both of them. Now, after a good while of adjusting, they are enjoying it.
It can be done. When the child was born, you became their life long teacher. No one can tell me I can't teach my children. The what about socialization? has never been a problem. The kids are in programs like 4H. The great part is you get to have more control over the environment your children are in and what they are exposed to.

Bama, you stated you are already re-teaching your child. Homeschooling is not any different. Have faith in yourself. You can homeschool your child.

**Tracy Rimmer** · #15 10/03/12, 07:08 AM

The school system wasn't meeting our son's needs. He was highly advanced, and our school district had a policy of not "skipping" grades -- which probably wouldn't have helped, in any case. He was reading at a tenth grade level in the first grade, and was explaining science concepts to eighth graders. We couldn't have advanced him enough grades to make the work challenging for him.

As a result, he was sitting in the corner of the classroom staring out a window all day. The teachers wouldn't allow him to bring books from home, and the only books available to him were the classroom "picture" books. He was not allowed to go to the library unsupervised (primary student) and even if he could have gone there, the librarian wouldn't allow him to check out books outside of the "primary" section.

We had a parent teacher interview where, when we addressed these issues, the teacher addressed my husband like he was one of her students. We made the decision to pull him before we hit the front doors of the school as we left after that meeting.

He never set foot in a public school again.

Our second child had learning challenges. We simply never put him in public school at all.

Ohio dreamer · #16 10/04/12, 02:53 PM

I knew my son would not thrive in public school....and he'd end up being a thorn in the teacher's side. At K age he was reading on a 2nd grade level (all his doing)....in K at school they were teaching letter sounds. My son LOVES to talk, especially when board. He favorite pass time was to tell you why you are wrong (even though your not and he is). He would have been labeled by the second week of school, LOL, if not suspended.

On top of that add that I had a horrible public school experience and I am not happy with the curriculum being taught, and I want my kids to learn our values not the herds...and well the decision was easy from there.

luvmyjersey1 · #17 10/05/12, 09:06 PM

We started in the 8th grade. DD had begged for years for me to homeschool (she is child #2) but I didn't think I could do it. Finally after an illness when she got behind in her work, I decided that if I didn't take her out of school, that she would be sick from the stress. We never looked back!

Homeschool took the drama out of our lives and let us be focused on the learning. She started some concurrent college classes at age 15. When she graduated homeschool, she'd finished 44 college credits and made a 31 on the ACT. She is now at an awesome college with a healthy scholarship. An she loves learning and school.

My only regret? That we didn't start sooner! I watch my riding students: grade schoolers with 1-2 hours of homework. Ridiculous and unfair to squander their childhood!

God bless you and your homeschool adventure!

menollyrj · #18 10/08/12, 08:14 PM

When I read The Six-Lesson Schoolteacher, by John Taylor Gatto.

mekasmom · #19 10/08/12, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bama

i was wondering what made you start - religion, how you grew up, a problem with local schools?

They kept trying to push to put one of my older boys on ritilin. He was in 2nd grade, and couldn't read. We started homeschooling and by the end of that year all of the kids were home. I wish I had never let any of the boys ever step foot in a public school. The younger kids homeschooled many years.

**GREENCOUNTYPETE** · #20 10/09/12, 11:15 AM

One teacher that was a witch, one teacher that was overwhelmed or an airhead, a 4K program that wasn't in the same league as what the older kids and serious budget cuts all in the same year. The idea prevent larger classes pushed us over the edge.

Louisiana Mom · #21 10/28/12, 07:33 PM

Both hubby & I went to public school all the way through.
To try to shorten the story up... I sent my 1st child to public school k-4th grade. I started substituting part-time when he was in 3rd grade. I also always helped with room mom, was pta officer all the way through too. So I was involved.
Anyway, after this experience I feel I really saw what goes on with the school system. It started troubling me when he was in 3rd grade.
He was a good kid & didn't get into trouble, did well on grades, had many friends, etc. So many didn't understand why I would even consider homeschool.
There were several different things but the main one is I felt like I was "losing" my son's heart & I didn't like some of the influences that were going on.
When it came time to REALLY homeschool was after he finished 4th grade. -Now mind you, I researched for about the whole year before making that leap. I also prayed & prayed. I was very nervous, but I was determined & hubby said he'd allow it for 1 year to see how it went.
Well, I had 2 children then & began.
My oldest is now 18, graduated homeschool & is working at our machine shop.
My other child is now 13 and in 8th grade. She has never been to public school.
It's not always been easy but it has so been worth it. I have seen so many things that have made me greatful that we made the commitment to our children to homeschool them.

Crafty4Life · #22 11/12/12, 04:34 PM

Our public school system is a complete joke, and my son needs special education. Where we live, the system is so poor, the special education division is currently under investigation by the state board of education. It is completely hilarious to think that my child can get an education here.

When he was in public school, he was abused by students, ignored by faculty and staff, and was allowed to fall through the cracks by the system. It was a complete failure, and I was determined not to allow it to continue and ruin my child's life and personality.

We do our best, but even on our worse day, we are doing better than the school system here on its best. My son will never be a Rhode's Scholar, but will have a happy, well-adjusted life and know that he has the support of his family in whatever endeavor he attempts. He is socially adjusted, outgoing, and acts like any other healthy teenager on the planet.

Home schooling is just like everything else in life. It is what you make of it. As long as you make it your own and ignore what is conventionally accepted, you can never fail at it, though most people don't follow that example. Some people follow a strict public school-style regimine. Others unschool and let the child do what they will as long as they keep their time engaged with an educational resource most of the day. It can be whatever fits your life style.

scififan1234 · #23 11/13/12, 03:16 AM

Because my Mom made me...lol

houndlover · #24 11/13/12, 03:24 AM

In 1990, the rural town I lived in was 100% white and 99% conservative. I wanted to protect my kids from that

ErinP · #25 11/13/12, 09:32 AM

lol ^^^

For us it was a failing classroom. Our third grader was in a 2/3/4 combined classroom (I think that was the split that year...funny how you start to forget these things lol). The teacher, despite being an experienced country school teacher, was having trouble getting anything other more than math and reading done on any given day. Despite the two-subject curriculum, our then-third grader was reading around a first grade level.
Granted he has had language delays since he was tiny, but at this point he should have been further along. The teacher obviously wasn't meeting his needs but would be his teacher for at least the rest of the 3rd grade, as well as 4th (and probably 5th and 6th, the way the grade/rooms restructuring was looking). So we pulled him.
His younger sister joined us for that second year because we'd moved. They both excelled of course.

By 5th, we were in a new school, so we put them back in. Both had been pretty lonely (we're pretty isolated compared to about 90% of the people on this forum).

Interestingly, two years later, now in 7th and facing the angst of junior high, DS is asking to come home again.
The school is fine. I sub regularly, K-12, so I have first hand observation. His class is pretty small (30 in the 7th grade). And for the most part you don't see bigger town problems like promiscuity or drugs or what have you. More of a 1950s "Did you know that Susie..."?!

type of attitude. But he just doesn't quite fit with his classmates and consequently always feels like an outcast. Not to mention, school itself is a struggle and he knows how much time he wastes on the bus, moving between classes, sitting in the lunchroom, etc, etc. It drives him crazy to see his day slip away on minutia.

So, we're looking at homeschooling again.

PistolPackinMom · #26 11/13/12, 11:52 AM

I remember the day my sisters and I came home from school for the last time. Our mom was sitting on the porch steps, her elbows on her knees, her hands cupped around her mouth. She looked like she'd been having a really difficult day. I remember her telling us that she came to realize that she was feeling relieved when we left for school each morning, and that wasn't the kind of mother she wanted to be. So she pulled us out and we started homeschooling.

It was hard, but it was also a lot of fun. I was probably her most difficult child to teach, but now my mom and I are best friends and call each other almost every day. So the relationship rewards are there, if you can adapt to your daughter's learning style.

I remember learning about Helen Keller; first we took turns reading a chapter of the book each night after dinner. Then we watched the movie, and tied dish towels around our eyes and practiced navigating our way around the house for an hour without speaking or peeking. It was so much fun! And to end our study, my mom recorded us acting out Helen's life story in one afternoon, and we put that on for movie time as a surprise for my dad! That definitely had a much bigger impact on me than reading a book and writing a research paper!
Then there were field trips to the air and space museum, going to D.C., meeting our local governor and taking a tour with him through his day, volunteering at our local community theatre, taking dance lessons, making movies in the back yard with friends, going to college AND attending a vo-tech school when I was 16, my brothers enrolling in CAP and volunteer fire fighters, my sister becoming the head chef of a local restaurant...it opened a lot of opportunities for us that I don't think we would have had in a traditional educational system.

I will be Montessori/Unschooling our kids, and I can already see how it's benefiting my 17 month old. His sense of independence and pride is stunning to behold, and I am filled with awe each time I watch him discover something for himself (along with gentle guidance

)

Annsni · #27 11/13/12, 11:58 AM

My oldest was diagnosed with ADD in 1st grade and the school just had a hard time managing her attention. They ended up sending her home with most of her classwork so I was essentially already homeschooling her. I brought her home for 2nd grade while her sister went to kindergarten so I could figure this out. That oldest daughter is now finishing her last semester of college (she had to take a semester off for a medical leave) majoring in art education and the second one is a junior majoring in speech pathology. I have two more at home (my son is just gathering his history work for us to do) in 5th and 7th grades and I'd not trade this time for the world.

Sunbee · #28 11/16/12, 11:15 AM

I was homeschooled myself. That was one of the first things I told DH when we started talking about marriage--any kids will be homeschooled. And they are, which is good--public school isn't equipped to handle kids who would have to be skipped that many grades. Public school's constraints means it will always have to focus on the average level of students, not the outliers.

CFarmerLady · #29 11/16/12, 06:51 PM

Well, I haven't yet been blessed with children of my own. Once we get our homestead started, though, we have every intention of homeschooling them. Both of us had pretty normal public educations, and both of us see what we missed by living in a kid-warehouse for eight hours a day, five days a week. We want our children to come to us when they have a problem, but also to have the courage to seek the solutions for themselves. We also don't want them under the ultra-liberal influences of the modern public school system, or to have to deal with bullying or peer pressure. I want my future son to learn how to become a good man from his father, and my daughter how to become a good woman from me. And above all, I want their education to acknowledge and embrace the wonderful truths of the word of God.

lorichristie · #30 11/17/12, 02:18 AM

While in school, I couldn't wait until the teachers were done talking so I could read the material (I am a visual learner). The teaching level was also wayyyyyyyy too slow for me, also. I'd get my homework done while still in class, hardly ever took anything home. Twelve years for my education seemed ridiculous for the body of knowledge taught...

I had a DD and DS, she very gifted, while he had Childhood Epilepsy and learning challenges. DD is an auditory learner, while DS is visual and tactile. I figured DD would always play down her intellect while DS would struggle to always measure up.

Homeschooling was a choice initially for the benefit of best fulfilling my children's needs. I taught 4 hours/day x 4 days/week, and spent a lot of time going on outings. There was no real homework as all work was done during classes. I taught them for 10 years, but when divorced, had to enroll then in public school. It was nothing short of brutal, DS became suicidally depressed and DD considered school just social time. Neither benefitted from that experience. DS dropped out, but earlier this year, he came to stay with me and we went through the GED program in just three weeks and he passed.