She hates to read!!! Help!!

therunbunch · #1 07/26/12, 06:32 PM

DD is about to turn 11 and she absolutely HATES to read. I hate being so pushy about the subject but my Grandmother really taught me how wonderful books were and how there's an adventure beneath every cover! You could live so many different lives, be in so many situations, etc etc depending on the next book you picked up. I LOVED reading growing up. I really want my daughter to have the same experience!!!

BUT... she's just not into it. Is the love of books something I can cultivate in her? If so... how?! I am constantly picking up books that look awesome and her room is full of stories I thought she'd love. She's into horses and dragons and such so I try to get things like that. I've tried Diary of Wimpy Kid, Harry Potter, and other books that my friends swear were tried and true. She's still not motivated to read.

Last summer the librarian suggested getting a book on cd and checking out the actual book as well so she could follow along. SUCCESS! She finished this massive book (Swordbird) within a 14 hours time span and begged me to go to the library the next day to get the 2nd book in the series. Then... the flame burned out. We picked up another book on CD yesterday, along with the book.. (it's the Warriors books).

As part of this year's required reading, I am putting together the books for our first semester. I started her on The Island of the Blue Dolphins. It's a shorter chapter book than she's used to reading. She practically mopes because she has to read it but I told her we have a lot of books to get through this year!!

I don't want to be a jerk, I understand that some kids just don't share the same interests as their parents. However, I just really think if we could break whatever barrier this is she might really foster a love of reading. Am I being impractical? Am I missing something? Please help! Her reading/writing skills need to improve and she really needs to be reading and writing.. and at least able to tolerate what's required, even if she doesn't want to read on her own.

cindy-e · #2 07/26/12, 06:57 PM

bribe her. That is what I did with mine. I'm serious. $1 per grade-level or higher book for which he read and also wrote a book report. It worked. It got him some things he wanted and I got something I wanted. He read. And now he reads because he wants to.
Other things we have done:
1) Any movie that comes out, they cannot see it unless they read the book first (if there is a book for it of course).
2) Equal computer time. You want to play that video game for an hour, you read for an hour.
3) They don't do what they don't see modeled. Be sure you are still reading too.
4) they are never too old for read alouds. I have high schoolers. We still read aloud. Now we read a lot of what they are writing too.
5) Stick to your guns on this one! IDK if you want your kids to go to college, but there is a direct correlation between reading and SAT scores. It is the single greatest predictor of success in higher education... not more maths, not more sciences, not more academic subjects, not music or art... as important as those things might be, reading is the *most* important thing a child can do to be prepared for college.

therunbunch · #3 07/26/12, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cindy-e

bribe her. That is what I did with mine. I'm serious. $1 per grade-level or higher book for which he read and also wrote a book report. It worked. It got him some things he wanted and I got something I wanted. He read. And now he reads because he wants to.
Other things we have done:
1) Any movie that comes out, they cannot see it unless they read the book first (if there is a book for it of course).
2) Equal computer time. You want to play that video game for an hour, you read for an hour.
3) They don't do what they don't see modeled. Be sure you are still reading too.
4) they are never too old for read alouds. I have high schoolers. We still read aloud. Now we read a lot of what they are writing too.
5) Stick to your guns on this one! IDK if you want your kids to go to college, but there is a direct correlation between reading and SAT scores. It is the single greatest predictor of success in higher education... not more maths, not more sciences, not more academic subjects, not music or art... as important as those things might be, reading is the *most* important thing a child can do to be prepared for college.

Good advice so far. I was reading like crazy last summer, but haven't had much time lately. I do have some books I'd like to pick up though so maybe that is motivation to do it!

She LOVES the computer and gets really upset if I tell her she has to read instead. We do limit her computer time and monitor what she is doing (she's mostly on nat geo sites, looking at animal pictures, etc). Time for time might work. I'm not above bribing her lol.

As far as college.. yes.. higher education is important to us, DH and I have nearly 10 years of college between us, and we'd like to see our kids strive for higher education of some sort.

She's very smart and makes really great grades.. but her reading (especially aloud) is not fluid. It needs tons of practice. We do read aloud as well (currently reading "shooting the moon" at night). She read Charlotte's Web 2 weeks ago and just said, "it was ok". She didn't fair well on the pop quiz I gave her to see how much she absorbed though.

bajiay · #4 07/26/12, 07:10 PM

My daughter was a late bloomer in reading, and didn't really learn to read completely til she was about your daughter's age. We read aloud Little House on the Prairie. She loved those books. Has your daughter picked the books that she wants? I had tried getting mine to read the books that I loved as a kid. She wasn't interested. She loved Junie B. Jones and Ramona and Beezus. That is how I got her into reading. I bought her sets of those. I would read aloud to her, but she had to read those others herself for an hour a day. She loves to read now. She is on grade level now as well. ( I didn't know if we would ever get there!) I took my daughter to book fairs and used book stores, and let her pick out her own books. She liked going to those and we might be there for hours.
I'm just rambling with what I remember doing. Don't know if it will help or not. Good luck!

dlskidmore · #5 07/26/12, 07:28 PM

If she spends a lot of time on nat geo sites looking at animals, have you tried books about animals? Don't worry too much about the word count right now, books with lots of pictures are fine for some portion of her reading. After she reads one annoying school-y book, she can have an easier book with facts about monkeys or whatever...

When I was a kid I had a really cool encyclopedia of natural history, spent hours flipping through that thing.

How about fewer straight reading assignments, and more reports on subjects that interest her? Even let her pick the subjects. If length is lacking, ask additional questions about the subject for her next paper.

Not everyone is into fiction...

therunbunch · #6 07/26/12, 07:51 PM

You're right dlskidmore. She's VERY into non-fiction. She likes watching documentaries on animals (Think Earth and Blue Planet) and she's practically memorized her horse encyclopedia. I'll also try alternating between required reading and the easier non-fiction stuff she likes. I keep forgetting that she learns a great deal with those. We went to the library on Monday and she practically plopped down in a chair and sulked the whole time we were there! She'd rather play with the toys and manipulatives they have there than pick out a book!

mekasmom · #7 07/26/12, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by therunbunch

Is the love of books something I can cultivate in her? If so... how?!

I don't know what state you are in, so this advice might not work for your laws there. But let her read whatever she wants to read. Self-motivation is the key. If the child likes comic books then get her comic books. If she likes fashion then get her some sort of make up books and dress books out of the non-fiction section. If she likes to cook, then get some cook books and set to work with her in the kitchen.
Dr. Moore use to say let the child read whatever subject motivated them even if it was about guns or some other non-childlike subject.
There are books that children need to know about because they just increase their life. Books like Heidi or Island of the Blue Dolphins or even Jane Eyre or whatever. Just read those to her. But find something she likes, and let her read that.
Our third son was not a motivated learner at all. He had two interests: Mad Magazine (horrible I know), and Frantz Liszt. And he read and read and read so many things from both of those. I had to censor a lot of Mad because it was off color, but I learned to just copy the semi-acceptable parts and throw away the rest. At least he was reading. Finally, he got to where he liked Julia Child. He liked watching cooking shows, especially her for some reason, so we got books about her and her cookbooks from the library. Whatever caught his fancy, we read.

Another thing you can do is either choral read with your child or read to her/with her one sentence at a time. I did that for years with my 3rd son (thank you Dr. Moore). I read a sentence, he read a sentence.
Yet another option is to read books to her that are slightly above her reading level because comprehension level is higher than reading level. But when she is reading, choose books just a year or so below her reading level to increase speed and reading efficiency. Many times that overcomes some reading resistance problems.

And another option is to use games, magazines, recipes, and other short reading exercises for her reading. You still should read whole books to her, but if she is resistant then choose short things for her to read. Games are the greatest idea for this because she has to read certain things on the board. "The Play is the Thing" use to be a good option for this because it was Shakespeare's works, but even Life or monopoly has reading within the game.

The thing to remember with a resistant student is that reading is reading no matter where it comes from. Math is math even if it is just in recipes. You have to choose materials and games, ideas, books, magazines, etc to allow the child to become self-motivated. Resistant learners are the failure of the materials and techniques used not the failure of the student nor the failure of the teacher/parent.

meredeth · #8 07/27/12, 12:05 AM

I would try not focusing so much on "grade level" reading. Right now, unless there is some sort of state oversight, I would just let her read whatever she is interested in. Have you tried the "Mandie" books? When I taught fourth grade they were popular with the girls.

I also agree with trying some non-fiction or other mediums. "Weekly Reader" or "God's World" might be an option there.

Institute a "Silent Reading Time" where everyone has silent reading time (with a book of their choice) at the same time for x amount of time. Start small, maybe 15 minutes.

If she's struggling maybe the required stuff is just too tough and she's frustrated. Try dropping her down a level just to boost confidence.

Has she given you any insight into why she isn't interested? Have you had much chance to really talk to her about it? Maybe ask her what were some of her past favorites and let her re-read those.

It's a fine line. One the one hand she has to practice reading and do what is required. On the other you don't want to make it drudgery and add to her dislike.

Good luck. Just keep trying different things. You'll get there.

Sunbee · #9 07/27/12, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by therunbunch

She's very smart and makes really great grades.. but her reading (especially aloud) is not fluid. It needs tons of practice. We do read aloud as well (currently reading "shooting the moon" at night). She read Charlotte's Web 2 weeks ago and just said, "it was ok". She didn't fair well on the pop quiz I gave her to see how much she absorbed though.

I cannot read out loud. I mean, I can, but I miss words, skip half-pages, drive my kids nuts. No one wants me to read to them, they go to Daddy or Nana. If your daughter reads the same way I do she will eventually be able to read super-fast, but she'll never be a good out-loud reader, and you'll drive her nuts trying to get her to slow down enough to. Ask her if she 'hears' the words in her head when she reads or not. If not, then she's wired like me. When she needs to 'read' something in public, just let her memorize it.
I'm curious about the pop-quiz you gave. Did you ask about specific things? Or did you ask about themes? If you haven't worked on reading for information, that might explain the results of your quiz versus the good grades you mention: She gets the broad strokes of information but misses the details.

It also sounds like your daughter might be a kinetic learner, in which case you have a whole different set of issues to address--the wanting to play with manipulative toys over learning by seeing something sounds like kinetic.

We have a hard-and-fast rule that you either read in the car or do nothing. This works well as long as you don't have kids prone to car-sickness. Sitting is boring.

Ohio dreamer · #10 07/28/12, 04:17 PM

My 9 yr old is the same way. To the point that she is a very late reader as she will only read if I'm sitting there with her....and she hate every minute of it (complete with tears) so I know it's not a ploy to get more Mom time. I just told my daughter the cold hard facts, reading is a must to survive life...get use to it. I don't tell her she is going to love this book or that or that she must learn to love reading. I tell her she must read what is assigned to her. I am now working on weaning her from asking me to read this and that to her (signs, b-day cards, fortune cookie papers, etc). I still do read aloud books with her and her "I love to read" older brother, so I know it's not the fear that mom won't read anymore if I can read. She just honestly doesn't like it. DH just learned to enjoy reading in the past 10 yrs (he's in his mid 40's). He reads slow and thoroughly.....doesn't forget a plot he read 10 yrs ago....so she may mature into it, yet.

mnn2501 · #11 07/28/12, 07:38 PM

Let her pick the books she likes to read. Just because Mom or Dad likes a certain genre. that does not mean the kids will like the same.

mommathea · #12 07/29/12, 04:03 PM

I didn't read the above so please forgive me it this has been brought up.

Has she been checked for dyslexia? In almost everyone I know who hates to read has dyslexia in some form. There are so many variances of it. It could be that it is more work than she feels is worth the reading.

dlskidmore · #13 07/29/12, 08:09 PM

I remember reading somewhere that some people with dyslexia had inner ear problems and were treatable with motion sickness drugs.

Laura Zone 5 · #14 07/30/12, 07:32 AM

I NEVER liked reading (but I am dyslexic).....unless it was for 'information'.
I love reading the Bible, cookbooks, homesteading type books, etc.
I do not, NOT enjoy reading for pleasure. Not one bit.

Maybe find a topic she is interested in.....and have her read up on it?

KentuckyDreamer · #15 07/30/12, 07:37 AM

My friend reserved thirty minutes a night for reading. The entire family was in one room with their own reading choices and read without distraction for the allotted time. Initially, she read to her son then allowed him to look at the pictures etc.

MDKatie · #16 07/30/12, 08:16 AM

We have the same issue w/ DSS. He just turned 9 and is slowly getting better at reading. He gets very overwhelmed and just doesn't like to read. We've told him that reading is something he can't skip, he HAS to read to function in life. It's getting better, and having him go to the library to pick out his own books has helped a lot. I also read to them (also have a DSD 7). We're reading the LHOTP series, on the second to last book now. He loves when I read to them, but doesnt' enjoy reading by himself.

It's just a slow and steady process...we just keep having reading times and hope the reading bug catches him.

lexa · #17 07/30/12, 10:36 AM

I was like your DD. I was not interested in fiction books until I turned 16-17, and it was fantasy kind of stuff. I did not have reading issues per say, just could not make myself to read it, however, I would listen when someone read aloud. I struggled in literature class and in groups of well read people. But I was obsessed by horses and dogs and read literally everything in my library branch what they had on the subject including books on building kennels and stables, magazine articles about animals in homestead type magazins,ect. At 25 I was diagnosed with Inatentive type ADHD. That explained why I kept reading until I cross eyed about subject I liked and could not read anything else. I was hyperfocusing on what interested me.
So I would say, do not fight with her and separate her reading assignments into reading of books that interest her to practice reading by herself and listening to audio books and to you reading of the books from your list, so she knows what they are about. I have not met a child who did not want to listen to good story. You can do it in the car and before bedtime. As long as she can read, I don't think that it matters through which senses she absorbs most of information in required books.

MJsLady · #18 07/30/12, 11:28 AM

My oldest never liked to read. He did not like it so much his 4th grade teacher insisted he could not and pushed to have him tested.

I took him down and had him tested. The tech came out with his clip board and said, Ma'm why are you here? I told him the teacher says my son can't read.

He said well he can, he is reading at a 10th grade comprehension level.

The boy never did like reading. However when a friend of his was big into the Harry Potter books, he tried one and read them all.

Not my cup of tea but what ever.

My point is, if she does not like to, as long as she CAN do it, why fuss? Personally books are my best friends. Especially those on the pioneers. For my sons, not so much. Both are now successful computer techs and doing fine.

Sonshine · #19 07/30/12, 12:58 PM

My DS hates to read because he struggles with it. Part of his LD is pragmatic language delays. However, he loved the movie "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" so I bought him one of the books. For a long time he ignored it. I didn't push him, just left it out for him. One day, while I was studying, I glanced over at him and he had picked up the book and started reading it. he struggled some, and would quit, but would eventually go back to it. His reading is improving, but he still has a long way to go.

frogmammy · #20 08/05/12, 08:39 PM

Sounds like maybe you're picking all her books...why don't you let HER pick her books?

Mon

happy@home · #21 08/08/12, 08:52 AM

Try getting her some magazine subscriptions. There are some nice nature ones for kids. Ranger Rick is one. My non reader dd loved Cat Fancy. She fought me on every book I assigned to her but now says she really liked most of them, she was just being difficult. She is 17 now and reads constantly, mostly sci fi but also mysteries like The Cat Who books and Agatha Christie. Other fiction as well but those are her favorites. Sometimes it just takes time and some people just prefer non-fiction. My dh just started reading fiction in the last few months, sci fi my former non-reader suggested to him.

txchickster · #22 08/08/12, 10:00 AM

Quote:

I remember reading somewhere that some people with dyslexia had inner ear problems and were treatable with motion sickness drugs.

I have never heard this one.....

Back on topic however, I am dyslexic as are 2 of my brothers and my father (who I got it from) my case is much less severe then both my brothers and proof that there is a lot of variation when it comes to dyslexia (mine tends to be in simple structure- I over look little things- where as my bothers have trouble with the flipped words and skipping information). I also work with and teach dyslexic students of varying levels. Key is to keep pushing. I know it sounds bad but it is what is needed dyslexic or not. the bribe idea works well, I use it in class by offering extra credit, free time, or even access to computer.

I teach high school and illiteracy is a problem not just for dyslexic students, the only way to fix it is to push reading. It honestly doesn't matter what she reads, I love DIY and romance (tho probably not appropriate for you DD). If she wont choose then pick for her just make it a large selection from non-fiction to comics, magazines, news articles and even research on the O So Beloved computer.

Give her a text book even and make her write her own lesson- we learn best by teaching others; she could even do a buddy system if you have younger ones, or other home-schoolers you know where she can read to the younger ones, also good to have her write her own mini books/stories, can be any type of writing, poetry, non fiction, fiction etc. Eventually I think you will see that she is reading more than you think and may even start to like to read when she gets older, but your just gonna have to keep at it.

PS- I never read any book that was required of me until college. Now I love to read and am even a published author.

happy@home · #23 08/08/12, 11:39 AM

I just noticed she likes a horse encyclopedia, try a subscription to a horse magazine. American Girl magazine is nice for that age, crafts and stories, all age appropriate. Teen magazines can be truly awful so I stay away from them but magazines geared to adults on topics and hobbies she likes are great. If she likes to cook for instance try a cooking magazine. There is something about getting a magazine in the mail that seems to appeal to kids who don't like to read.

Little House · #24 08/11/12, 08:16 AM

I too have a dd that hates to read. From another forum, I found out about vision therapy. She had had her eyes checked more than once, and they were fine, but it turns out that they were not working together very well. She was seeing double and I had no idea. She could read, but couldn't keep her place.

Check out this site: Symptoms Checklist - College of Optometrists in Vision Development (this links to a list of symptoms, dd only had a couple).

Just know that some doctors who do vision therapy are better than others, we went through two before dd's problem was corrected. She is now in the building fluency stage, and it is slow going, but it IS going. She even reads some on her own now.

If there are no vision problems, my research in this subject shows that you have to build fluency before a child will enjoy reading. To build fluency, the child needs to read A LOT, and to read below their reading level. While a child should read a little at their reading level, they should be allowed to read for fun below their reading level. Comic books, magazines, whatever they enjoy.

whiskeylivewire · #25 08/12/12, 11:16 PM

I had a kid that hated to read. He also was in remedial reading and had to have a tutor. I got him to read the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series and he became a reader. He had over 250 AR points last year-only 2 years after being in remedial reading.

All 3 of my readers started loving reading from these books.

That's all the advice I have but the series is great

SilverFlame819 · #26 08/14/12, 03:23 AM

Some kids are better at some things than others. But my very first thought is dyslexia. Has she been checked? :S

oldasrocks · #27 08/14/12, 01:00 PM

Has anyone here suggested an eye test? If she has to strain to see the words and it gives her a headache?

Cyngbaeld · #28 08/14/12, 02:48 PM

I was about to suggest an eye test too. Ask the eye doctor to check her ability to hold a single focus rather than double vision. If you can't hold focus it is very difficult to read. (I've had to go to using talking books because I can't read very long without a headache and double vision.)

PNWKatie · #29 08/14/12, 11:19 PM

Jumping in kind of late, but...

My son at that age HATED to read. I finally took him to a "Big city" bookstore (not a small local bookstore) and Told him to find SOMETHING he thought he'd like to read. He picked out a lemony snickett book, followed by the lightening thief. He ended up reading the whole lemony snickett series and now that he's older, he LOVES to read. I thought it would NEVER happen. So instead of putting a list of books together that I thought he should either read, or that he would like, I asked him what subjects he'd like to read about and based some of his curriculum on that. It made it much easier and didn't cause me to pull out my hair. I also had his eyes checked and yes he did need a small prescription for some things. In the end he's a huge reader now and I never have to worry about him finding something he likes to read.

libby · #30 08/16/12, 10:58 AM

I second the non-fiction advice! As a kid, I could tell you how to make a mummy by the time I was 10, but novels? No way. My mom (who homeschooled us) was a former English teacher, and she and my sis devoured a novel a day and couldn't figure out why I didn't like stories. But, at the library I'd spend the whole time in the non fiction section, and bring home stacks on all kinds of topics.
Let her read what she enjoys and eventually she'll pursue reading on her own. Of course some novels are important to schooling- but if you push it too much outside that, she'll push it away entirely.
I like novels more now that I am an adult- but yesterday at the library I picked up one novel and three homesteading books.