Help getting started in Mo.

paulaswolfpack · #1 07/29/09, 09:35 PM

I am slowly trying to get out of a bad situation and moving my son who will be in the 10th grade says he will only go with me if I home school him.
it means that he will be going to a much bigger school with a graduating class of 200 instead of less than 30.
He has such good grades reading at collage level, math at collage level.
There is no way that I can stay in this marriage for 3 more years.
I do not want to leave him here with his dad there is no physical abuse just verbal but I know he will be the brunt of it if he stays.
Please feel free to PM me. Thank you Paula

BusyBees2 · #2 07/30/09, 07:18 AM

I think your first step should be research, research, research. Check out hslda.org to find the laws in MO, then perhaps find some local groups to check them out and see what activities they have going.

Curriculum can be mind boggling...do some research there and see what would fit his learning style, motivations, interests.

This is a decision you need to make. Can you do it? How much do you want to homeschool? I know you want your son with you, but do you really want to homeschool? Sounds like you're facing a lot of life changes all at one time...that's a lot to consider.
Good luck.

Tracy Rimmer · #3 07/30/09, 07:54 AM

Sometimes, it's not a case of wanting to home school, but having to. If you feel you're in that situation, Paula, then I would suggest the following:

1) sit down and talk to your son as an adult -- somewhere where you can talk openly without interference or interruptions from others. Take him out to a coffee shop or someplace you can be guaranteed of some quiet -- perhaps in the next town over if you're well-known in your community and people might overhear. Lay it all out for him, tell him exactly why you need to get out, and tell him that you are in no position to make any promises, but if he is willing to work hard, so are you. Put some of the onus of his education (not all, mind) on HIM. Involve him in the process.

2) contact a home schooling support group in the area you are heading for, tell them that you're new to this and will appreciate any help they can offer. Then, appreciate it. Don't ask for help and then question it, or reject it. The people running these support groups are busy themselves, volunteers who have BTDT, and have a LOT to offer. Get your son involved in some of the activities, and offer your skills and time to the group.

3) contact the HSLDA and make sure of the laws in your destination area. Know them backwards and forwards, inside and out, because if your soon-to-be ex is as "wonderful" as you've hinted at, you can guarantee that HE'LL learn them in order to cause you trouble. Know EXACTLY what is legal and what isn't, and follow it to the letter.

4) reread #3 above.

5) reread it again.

You'll do fine, so long as you follow the legal to the LETTER, and so long as your son wants a good education, and is willing to work for it.

frazzlehead · #4 07/30/09, 03:01 PM

Sorry to hear you're in a tough spot, but it's good you are looking for ways to make positive changes! Good for you, and your son!

In addition to the wise advice above, I will suggest that in your research into curriculum you check into "correspondence schools" or "virtual schools" in your area. Given the situation, you'll have a lot on your plate and doing a lot of the legwork for curriculum choice and coaching and marking and all that might be more than you can successfully take on at this stage of the game. Plus, your son is in high school, so there are usually options in that regard.

Here, what they call "outreach schools" are common ... they'll set up in a mall or store front somewhere, and kids can drop in and get help with the correspondence courses they are working on (high school classes via correspondence are also very common here, at younger grades they are much less common). That way, you aren't (maybe, depends on your laws) "home schooling" ... but he's not in a regular school and classroom and all that, either. The schools are often aimed at kids who've dropped out and want to finish their education but are working part time to make ends meet, or whatever, so the 'not in class with 200 strangers' thing is definitely covered, but you have all the support of teachers and so on.

Disclosure: We use a 'virtual school' program for my junior high school son, and love it - we can't be there to 'home school' in the traditional way, so this middle road works well for us. A girl I know who had several accidents during her tenth grade year and missed a lot of class time registered in outreach school when the 'official school' said she'd be failed for not having spent enough time in class, although she successfully challenged the exams ... and she loved the flexibility and just graduated from Grade 12 this summer.

I am afraid I have no idea what's available where you are, but Googling on "outreach school" or "correspondence high school courses" might open up a few more options for you.

Best wishes!

paulaswolfpack · #5 07/31/09, 01:29 PM

Thanks so much for the onfo,Paula

Freya · #6 08/04/09, 08:33 PM

Have you moved to MO yet?

MO is a "green" state which means basically no real hs'ing rules there.

If you are unsure of yourself you can always use a prepared curriculum or use a virtual school (free).

What is your child interested in doing? Sometimes you can just skip over the tail end of high school and move on to community college or a trade school/technical school.

sheepish · #7 08/05/09, 06:18 AM

One word of caution: Is the ultimatum delivered by your son an unusual one for him, or does he often deliver ultimatums? If you are homeschooling, it will be just you and him. You don't want to make it a contest of wills.

I agree very much with Tracy, you need to make it a partnership with him. He should be ready to be the driver in his education, with you as the facilitator. Good luck to you both.

deafgoatlady · #8 08/05/09, 05:56 PM

Ditto what freya said about MO. If your son is in high school. He can do pretty much do by himself. All you have to do make sure he do his school work and be sure you have the lesson plan wrote down just in case to proof that your son doing the school work. If you cannot do the homeschool then I would make my son go to GED classes and take it then pass the test then he gets diploma. That is me if he is old enough. I know some people may disagree with me.

NWMO · #9 08/07/09, 03:25 PM

and look for the GED option and get things lined up for community college or entrance into a 4 year school if that is the direction he might be leaning for the future. This would take a tremendous amount of pressure off of you and I would think he would qualify for some additional student loans etc if he is declared emancipated and an adult filling out his financial aid forms....he could still live at home (if possible) and you could support him that way......just throwing another option out there. You might check with your local community college or even the high school counselor to see what options exist for you.
Good luck.